The Brainage

Bah!

2011-12-06T01:32:00.000+05:00

and then at a very odd stage of your life, you wish to have babies after seeing the most adorable, cutest, crackling and blue-eyed baby (mashAllah) :/

2011-08-06T14:36:00.004+05:00

Farz karo hum ahle wafa hon, farz karo deewanay hoon
Farz karo yeh dono batein jhootee hoon afsanay hoon

Farz karo yeh jee ki bipta, jee say jorh sunai ho
Farz karo abhi or ho itni, aadhi hum nay chupai ho

Farz karo tumhain khush kernay kay dhoondhay humnay bahany hoon
Farz karo yeh nain tumharay such much kay maykhanay hoon

Farz karo yeh rog ho jhoota, jhooti peet hamari ho
Farz karo is peet kay rog main sans bhi hum per bhari ho

Farz karo yeh jog bajog ka hum nay dhong rachaya hoFarz karo bus yahi haqeeqat baqi sub kuch maya ho

_______ Ibnay Inshah______

USA, Facebook and Pets

2011-07-18T00:54:00.001+05:00

USA seems to me like a big facebook, with happy faces and apparently no worries. They are crazy about Facebook and pets. Both capture major part of an average American's life. They love to talk about their pets in their day to day life as well as on Facebook. 90% of their status would be about their pets. Most of them would put their pets' pictures as their profile pictures. They would name human names to their pets. If you would visit any American family who has pet, and you would ask about their kids only and not about their pet, they would get a chance to hate you forever. Hence, they give same status to their pets and kids.

How much thankless I am

2011-05-18T10:32:00.000+05:00

There was a time when I used to fight for making any decision of my life. Then the time came when I so wanted someone could make decisions.......

Well I don't have any word for it. Just check it out by yourself!

2011-05-06T09:58:00.001+05:00

Crackle

2011-04-25T00:39:00.001+05:00

Wife (to husband): Gimme a glass of water!

Husband (with chin up): I? NO.... I am a Man!

Wife: I know but nothing can happen now sweetheart. You have to accept this problem!!!

P.S. Dumb wives are blessing!

Just a cranky brat..

2011-04-17T11:00:00.000+05:00

These days are very tough. I am just tensed and kind of depressed without any reason. Don't understand why. This has to happen one day. I thought I am mentally ready but I am not. not at all. The other things are just igniting it. The workload is killing me through. And then getting associated with some place and then leave it, is not a little thing. I tell you it's big time hard. Is it that easy to start a life again? But sitting at this stage, I am just being so paranoid for the uncertainties in my life. How much you want sometimes to know about the future before hand. How much you want sometimes that people understand you without saying even a single word. I know only I can understand myself. And I am the only best and close friend of myself, as always!

Need of the hour :)

2011-04-10T12:00:00.001+05:00

Girls, see this video at least twice a day:

Few of the tacts were so hilarious. It is really a fun watch. It reminded me the incident that happened to me. I should learn and practice few of these tactics before coming back to Pak :P

P.S: Remember, twice a day!!!

2011-03-22T12:05:00.003+05:00

I'm threading through the evening

it's later than I thought

a friend of mine is waiting

for cigarettes I brought

she smiles she seems so tired

so nothing is required

I reach into my pocket

some things she left behind

nothing really happens

in ways I can't define

loose talk of hearts and heads

of sleep in other beds

it's better left unsaid

she says that she is cold

I wish that I could hold

but no,

how can you hold a soul?

you just can't hold a soul

that shines like gold

she shines like gold

I will, I won't, I would

I've said more than I should

she leaves she goes uptown

she may not come back down

she may not turn around

she may not make a sound

she may not come back down!

Economics and Porn

2011-02-23T09:57:00.003+05:00

Scene: I was discussing about the class we just had with a bunch of class mates.

He (a white guy): So what do you think of today's lecture?

I: Well today's lecture was pretty good. I think he has started explaining things more in detail....blah blah.........but I am still confused about the concepts of homotheticity and homogeneity. Can you explain the difference?

He: Well I dont remember their exact definition but I can tell which production function is homothetic and which is homogeneous by looking at it. It's same like I cannot present the definition of porn but I can differentiate it among the other plain stuff by watching it.

P.S. Life becomes little bit complicated with a half broken tooth :(

Kho gayi hai manzil kahin rahon mein......

2011-02-19T11:16:00.001+05:00

Jahan mein, jahan tu,

Aur jahan, bass tere mere jazbaat hai,

Hogi jahan subah teri,

Palko ki, kirano mein,

Lori jahan chand ki,

Sune teri baahoin mein..

Jaane naa kahan wo duniya hai,
Jaane naa wo hai bhi ya nahi,
Jahan meri zindagi mujhse,
Itni khafa nahi.....

Saasein kho gayi hai kiski aahon mein,
Mein kho gayi hu jaane kiski baahon mein,
Manzilon se raahein doodhti chali,
Kho gayi hai manzil kahin rahon mein.....

Another similar day for them! :(

2011-02-18T11:50:00.002+05:00

I can understand and feel how difficult it is for parents to say good bye to their kids for some journey and specially when the journey is full of uncertainties and fears. He is their last kid. And now all have gone to their destinations with the hope of better futures like birds, who leave their parents' nests when they learn flying. Kids are not selfish. It's not that they do not love their parents. It's also not that they do not want to stay with their them. It's just because they just have to go with a life long burden on their hearts. Can anyone tell the parents that kids love them so much and that they are as sad as the parents are while leaving them? Can anyone tell them it is the most difficult decision of life that one could make? Can anyone tell them to believe that they will be together again? Can anyone?

More pics :)

2011-02-04T08:55:00.000+05:00

Oi maan!!.....that's called a perfect snow storm

2011-02-03T12:58:00.006+05:00

So we had a zabardast storm which stayed almost one day. They said that it's the third biggest storm in the history. Winds blew at the same speed as they do in Katrina. And the snow fell from the sky like someone was throwing buckets of snow. Night was horrible. I could not sleep due to the scary voices of the wind like "ghooooonghoooo". Thank God it's passed without any major damage.

We got two days off from the school. Wo0oho0o....I couldn't stop myself from putting up this status on facebook

"I know that's mean to say someone is happy with the storm as all classes are cancelled :P"

I slept like bear in these two days. Still feeling drowsy. I made chicken karhai today and glued to CNN all day. Everyone was hanging out for sledding. I could not go out :( because I was already fighting with cold, runny nose and some rude sneezes which have shower effects (stay away from me, i am a walking flu). But this Sunday, we have planned to go for sledding inshAllah. That may be my last snow here!

Now some pictures (steeling some of my friends' pics too):

The frozen river

My friend's father is taking time out from shoveling....lol......I like this man alot. He is a real fun!

Ahh school under blizzard attack!

My window at night....snow all over

I live on the 4rth floor. When I looked down from the window, I shuddered to think what if the snow would reach to my window!

I heard that electricity was gone in few places when blizzard came. I was praying that would not happen with us. I hate this dorm even with electricity. Without electricity, I WOULD definitely loathe it!

P.S. We are praying classes will be cancelled tomorrow also (fingers crossed)..."mujhay neend aa rahi hai"....addicted :P

My First blogger meetup

2011-01-20T13:02:00.001+05:00

Finally, a fan and I managed to meet up for the first time. I stopped by Chicago while returning from Michigan. She also had arrived from NJ in the after noon that day. Although I was and am still on vacations (hehe still few days), but these were her busy days as her school had just started. Anyhow, I spent a night and almost a day with her. She is such a nice and lovely girl. I literally enjoyed our discussions on life, study, marriage, careers, family, politics, etc. She made yummy dinner for me. I really appreciate how she managed to cook and pick me up from the station in that short time. We went for movie as a fan was volunteering for some film club. She showed me her school and we took few pictures. After that we went for a long walk and had chocolate cones in that freezing cold. It was fun.

Next day, another friend of mine joined us there. We hanged out together and had fun. Went to the Shedd Aquarium, but could not make to the Art gallery this time too. I hope next time we should straight go to it first.

On our returned, we missed our bus. it left just in front of us and they did not stop it even my friend knocked the door. They said door was closed and would now be opened on its destination. Damn! I missed Niazi coach here. We had to buy a new ticket and wait for the next bus. I never ever missed any of my bus, plane or train, but now I ve been deprived of using this dialogue from so on.

All in all it was really a good trip (minus the last thingy). I got to meet a fan which was the main purpose of this visit. Thanks alot a fan for your hospitality and love. I am looking forward to your visit at our place!

P.S. I am looking forward to meet my other blogger friends :)

Teary!!

2010-12-30T13:46:00.000+05:00

I ve been wearing this jeans since long which I bought from DC but I dont know how I couldn't notice this before:

Made in Pakistan

For good 30 minutes, I sat on the bed with this jeans in my hands and literally cried. Pakistan, my country, my love, what are these crazy nuts doing with it? I am so frustrated.....I need to come back really soon with a potion in my hand :-X

2010-12-23T11:51:00.000+05:00

Snow, coffee and finals......a awful combination, I must say!!!

Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas and New Year Celebrations

2010-12-08T11:26:00.000+05:00

These are the three big events in US. Thanksgiving and Black Friday have just been passed and celebrations for Christmas and New Year have just been started. I were and I am so excited for all these and trying to enjoy the each bit of it, though busy.

We were invited for the thanksgiving dinner by one of our friends' family. It was all fun. The family was originally Canada, so gotta chance to meet a Canadian family also. Although they used to celebrate their thanksgiving on different date according to their tradition but they arranged that dinner for us.

My friend is married and have two boys. One is four and the other one is 2. Both are literally cute and extremely naughty, but very mannered and friendly. My two other friends were also invited for the dinner. They made alot of food. The main dish was of course turkey which seemed good. All other dishes were full of cheese and cream. I was so hungry and those dishes were two heavy for me to eat more than three to four spoons. My friend's mother was so kind and she gave a surprise in form of presenting a desi dish of cauliflower (gobhi). It tasted very nice. At the end, yummy pumpkin pie was served.

Gobhi, Little bit oily, okay very oily, but tasted good :P

They called it Jammie's Murphy, simply the mashed potatoes with cheese and few other things.

Fruit Salad which I made. Looks more than a fruit chaat without chaat masala :D. For the first time, I tried kiwis, yummyyyyyy :)

There was another dish of mashed turnips that I did not dare to taste. But I have realized one thing that they like most of the things in mashed form. Isn't it strange?

We talked alot, played alot with boys and took alot of pictures. My friend's husband was determined to teach me the American Football. Mind you! Soccer and American football are two different games. I learnt little bit but I remained convinced that cricket is the most interesting game than these ones. Auntie gee asked me too many questions because I were the only one among three of us who was ready to talk about Pakistani politics. So she asked me almost everything, from fall of Dhaka to Indian occupation of Kashmir, from 9/11 to war against terrorism, from our water disputes with India to border issues, from our villages to big cities, from earthquake to flood, from arranged marriages to love marriages, she brought the map and asked where my city was located. She wanted to ask more but her daughter had to interrupt us and divert our attention to the preparation of dinner. Thanks dear :)

Uncle gee was the only person who was properly dressed up. He was wearing the very formal shoes I had ever seen wearing anyone at home. At my stares (yes I become rude sometimes), he had to explained that it was his hobby to dress up all the time which he blamed to the Britain. Remember! Canada was also a British Colony? Then we laughed alot on the Britishers' hobby of colonial extension :D

Khair the day ended with the promise that we would also give them a chance to have our Pakistani food. And now that day is just near. They again invited us for Christmas dinner and wanted us to bring some Pakistani dishes. I am again excited to try their Christmas special dishes and praying that they would not be that heavy this time. We are told that boys are impatiently waiting for us with the beautiful Christmas trees they have decorated at the home.

Oh I forgot one thing, we also went for shopping at night. Come on! it was Black Friday night. Oh God it was all crazy. US has biggest sales in the year on Black Friday. Despite of coldest and chilling weather, there were hundreds of people in the malls, literally running from one to another shop to buy whatever they got. There were long queues in fronts of almost all stores. We stood for an hour in front of Coach but spent just 3 minutes when we got entered. It was so expensive even with sale. I bought few things, not much but I really enjoyed the whole festive atmosphere. I did not see such eagerness here before.

P.S. Yes I do have finals before Christmas :(

2010-11-15T13:15:00.002+05:00

Do carry a affidavit form about your pregnancy if you are travelling to US.

2010-11-01T09:42:00.002+05:00

Few days back, I fell badly on ground backwards. My head, neck, backbone and feet hit the ground like hell. I don't remember what was happening around. What I remember was my terrible screams, my friends' crying, their dragging me to the door, the chilling wind, shivering and then all blackout. Then someone called my name at least ten times, shuddered me at least 20 times and threw a sharp light into my eyes with "Hey! you are in paramedics' safe hands. See in the middle of my both eyes". They were doing something with me which I don't remember now but they didn't let me sleep. I think they were trying to fix me on a board. Then I was taken to the hospital where I had to spent a night. I went through different tests, Cat scan and X rays.

I felt one thing badly. They only wanted me to remain in consciousness to answer the one most imortant question; "Are you pregnant"? They asked this question to my friends many times "Is she pregnant"? "Is there any chance that she could be pregnant"? They did not trust their answer which was negative. So they used to shudder me through the places I was badly hit and ask the same question time and again. Many times, I felt that they were more interested in my pregnancy than treating my bad injuries. "Are you not pregnant"? O man what's the big deal. I am sure there would be many ladies who die without making any kid......but why are they asking this question? At some point, I thought I might be pregnant and I might forget about it. But how is it possble? nahi nahi.....I dont drink. I dont take any other intoxication. Then how could I do such a big thing in unconsciousness? They didn't believe my friends' and my words. They woke me up the 30th time and forced me to sign a form declaring that I wasn't pregnant. Gosh!!

P.S. Living in US, everyone would doubt your virginity after seeing your age. :|

Pinky is my Hero0o0o!!!

2010-10-15T10:54:00.000+05:00

My cutie pie munni friend Pinky has cleared the CSS exam. I am so proud of you Pinky! You are my hero and future DC also. xoxo

Pinky, the Hero!

The spill of his speech

2010-10-15T10:28:00.002+05:00

Hey Man! you rock!

Acceptance!

2010-10-11T11:14:00.002+05:00

I don't know how many events, family functions and other interesting occasions I would miss further. I think all. I am getting used to it now. Events come and pass and leave me with pictures only. I live on pictures. Pictures of all my loved ones are always with me. For few months, I used to keep all pictures on my bed with the childish thought that they were with me. Then, these went to my study table and now they are lying in the drawer. I ve realized that they are only pictures, nothing more than that. I don't see them much, may be once in two weeks. I don't miss anyone much. i don't talk to them much. I have accepted that I am alone here and I will have to live like this for many years to come. Isn't acceptance a relief in itself?

Being a brat....

2010-09-24T12:24:00.005+05:00

With extreme care and affection, I burnt my hand today. Extremely warm oil spilled over at the back of my hand leaving a mysterious scar. I am pretty sure that the mark resembles with the map of some tiny country in Africa. I am still trying to find it out. But today, I missed my mom a lot. I miss everyone terribly. If this would have happened at my home, my whole family would gather around giving me different household tootkas. My mom would first bring toothpaste. Granny would suggest icing. Papa would remain insisting on using Bernol. And after good 15 minutes, my brother would appear out of his room with a pride in his eyes like he is having Aab-e-Hayat and would hand over me a chori mori old herbal ointment explaining the benefits of it. But there was nothing today. I could not do anything for it. I didn’t have any ointment at home. I even couldn’t find the pack of my bandages. I even forgot to apply toothpaste on it. I just left it in cold water and kept remembering the comfort of my home. I am literally a spoiled, rude, irresponsible and careless child of my parents.

I am used to my mother's voice "Eat something! you did not eat much today". And my father's loving scolds "You actually enjoy teasing us by having low BP". I literally used to enjoy it. But there is no fun here. No drama at all. There is no one to pamper you here. I do not eat until my intestines beg me to put something in them. My stomach makes the loudest noises in the class out of everyone.

My kitchen is just three steps away. But they are three miles for me. Oh God!! to go there and make something has become the world's hardest thing, harder than running regressions, finding variances and reading stupid recommended articles.

P.S. I found a 20` bigger tv in a running condition (not walking) in trash. Wadday log tey wadiyan wadiyan galaan :D

Strange life is!

2010-09-20T11:49:00.002+05:00

Sometimes you just regret meeting few people in your life. And other times you think what your life would have been if you have not met them....strange!

Eid :)

2010-09-11T01:57:00.003+05:00

2010-09-07T09:05:00.000+05:00

A Christian's response to the "Ten Reasons to Burn Quran" (Nauzibillah)

2010-09-06T13:18:00.002+05:00

I came across this article of Zach and I appreciate how he has addressed each point in detail. Let's have a look:

For those of us who aren’t familiar with what has been going on in the conservative extremist arena of the bustling metropolis of Gainesville, Florida, let’s have a quick fact check. Just when you thought that Westboro Baptist Church’s “God Hates Fags” signs were the only outlet of Christianity gone amok (and they don’t count because they’re way out… there, in that part of the country, right?), the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville decides that it’s going to make September 11, 2010 its first annual Burn-A-Koran-athon. That’s right. This coming September 11th, the church will gather on its property and hold a Qur’an burning.

Either in the usual conservative evangelical nature, or in a bout of guilt-filled justification, the church recently published on its blog a list of the top ten resons you should burn a Qur’an (Could you make my blogging life any easier?). Let’s examine this list for a moment.

1. The Koran teaches that Jesus Christ, the Crucified, Risen Son of God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords was NOT the Son of God, nor was he crucified (a well documented historical fact that ONLY Islam denies). This teaching removes the possibility of salvation and eternal life in heaven for all Islam’s believers. They face eternal damnation in hell if they do not repent.

This is, of course, based on the fact that you believe that Jesus was the son of God. So I guess that Jews, Buddhists, Pagans, Agnostics, and Christians that might not live up to your standards probably fit into this category as well. Nothing new. Fair enough.

2. The Koran does not have an eternal origin. It is not recorded in heaven. The Almighty God, Creator of the World, is NOT it’s source. It is not holy. It’s writings are human in origin, a concoction of old and new teachings. This has been stated and restated for centuries by scholars since Islam’s beginnings, both Moslem and non-Moslem.

I can only laugh at this one. Anyone who has done any kind of research in to the origins of the Bible knows that it was written by humans, for humans, and is the epitome of ‘old and new teachings.’ I mean really, the Bible’s two testaments were written in two different languages! If that alone doesn’t clearly say “humans wrote this, at different times, for different reasons, over many years,” I don’t know what does. I have nothing against the fact that the Bible was written at the hand of man, but it sure makes it hard to call the Qur’an un-holy because of the same fact. I see a bunch of steamed-up extremist kettles calling the pot black.

3. The Koran’s teaching includes Arabian idolatry, paganism, rites and rituals. These are demonic, an ongoing satanic stronghold under which Moslems and the world suffer.

That’s right. I’d forgotten. Islam’s rituals are satanic, but yours are squeaky clean. So drinking wine and eating bread in remembrance of your Lord and dunking your worshipers in water so they may be born again in Christ are perfectly fine and acceptable, but practices like praying seven times daily to God and fasting in order to learn about patience, humility, and spirituality are satanic. Thanks for clarifying that yours is the only way, I was sorely confused.

4. The earliest writings that are known to exist about the Prophet Mohammad were recorded 120 years after his death. All of the Islamic writings (the Koran and the Hadith, the biographies, the traditions and histories) are confused, contradictory and inconsistent. Maybe Mohammad never existed. We have no conclusive account about what he said or did. Yet Moslems follow the destructive teachings of Islam without question.

The earliest of the gospels describing the life of Jesus were written in 78 C.E. (or A.D. if you’re into that kind of thing), which was 55 years after Jesus died. This means that even a witness who was ten years younger than Jesus would have been nearly seventy by the time he began writing the gospel. And because the gospels were written in Greek and not Hebrew or Aramaic, it seems unlikely that the author of the earliest gospel was an eyewitness of the happenings during even the death of Jesus. And do we really want to get into contradictions in the Bible? Let’s try a few. Don’t kill, but stoning gay people is fair game. The Lord of peace be with you, but our God is one of war. The gospel of Mark says Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, while the gospel of John says he was not, among many other contradiction in the gospels. In fact, the only gospel that mentions the divine birth by God of Jesus is Luke. Are we done talking about inconsistent, contradictory writings about our prophets, now?

5. Mohammad’s life and message cannot be respected. The first Meccan period of his leadership seems to have been religiously motivated and a search for the truth. But in the second Medina period he was “corrupted by power and worldly ambitions.” (Ibn Warraq) These are characteristics that God hates. They also led to political assassinations and massacres which continue to be carried out on a regular basis by his followers today.

The Christian church has a long-standing history of corruption. It was the primary source of power in Europe for about a millennium, and folks, it didn’t get that way by playing nice with the nobles and serfs. Televangelists today rob people blind under the guise that money can be exchanged for salvation. I know of a pastor of a modern conservative evangelical superchurch who, despite his growing congregation’s need for a new space, built himself a new multi-million-dollar home instead using funds of his church. That’s not being corrupted by the power of worldly ambitions, is it? And who are you to tell me what can and cannot be respected? That’s right, you’re divine and I’m not.

6. Islamic Law is totalitarian in nature. There is no separation of church and state. It is irrational. It is supposedly immutable and cannot be changed. It must be accepted without criticism.

It seems ironic that a pastor of a conservative evangelical church would say this when historically, conservative Christians in America seem to want the wall between church and state as thin or non-existent as possible. I love it when people call upon something only when it’s convenient for the views they’re spinning.

7. Islam is not compatible with democracy and human rights. The notion of a moral individual capable of making decisions and taking responsibility for them does not exist in Islam. The attitude towards women in Islam as inferior possessions of men has led to countless cases of mistreatment and abuse for which Moslem men receive little or no punishment, and in many cases are encouraged to commit such acts, and are even praised for them. This is a direct fruit of the teachings of the Koran.

This depends wholly on the interpretation of the text in the Qur’an, in the same way that some Christians think that women are inferior to men because of Biblical scripture. In the case of countries where laws reflect the conservative interpretations of the Qur’an and women are indeed inferior by law, the Qur’an is used as justification, but in most parts of the world such rigid interpretations are not commonplace. True, the notion of a moral individual capable of making decisions and taking responsibility for them is inconceivable in such countries, but this is not per se Islam’s fault. Look at China.

8. A Muslim does not have the right to change his religion. Apostasy is punishable by death.

A Muslim living in certain countries does not have the right to denounce his religion. A Muslim living in the United States of America does. This is not an issue inherent of Islam, but of differing political systems.

9. Deep in the Islamic teaching and culture is the irrational fear and loathing of the West.

Deep in the conservative Christian teaching and culture is the irrational fear and loathing of the East (Let’s go burn us some Korans, eh?).

10. Islam is a weapon of Arab imperialism and Islamic colonialism. Wherever Islam has or gains political power, Christians, Jews and all non-Moslems receive persecution, discrimination, are forced to convert. There are massacres and churches, synagogues, temples and other places of worship are destroyed.

Any religion can be a weapon of any government or group of people who adhere to it. Historically, wherever Christianity has gained power, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Pagans, and followers of other native religions have been persecuted, discriminated against, and forced to convert or face expulsion from their homelands and/or death. Again, the sooty, tarnished kettles need to turn off the burner and stop whistling at the pot.

A drop in the Ocean

2010-09-06T09:10:00.000+05:00

The biggest humanitarian disaster has broken the backbone of Pakistan which was not in a good shape before. Despaired eyes, torn clothes, bared footed, empty stomachs and dry mouths of flood affected people of Pakistan are waiting for some miracle to come over and correct everything. Who will help them actually? You? Or I?

We remain confused or want to be confused when we think of helping them. We see towards other people and call them to help out OUR people. But what are WE doing actually? I am among WE and I confess it shamefully that I am not doing what I am supposed to do.

We always think that helping these people means to donate thousands of money or to arrange a big truck of their food and clothes. Some of the people are doing so and I truly appreciate it. But if we cannot do this, it does not mean we can't do anything and can just sit and see the relief activities. A little drop in the ocean is as important as a whole ocean. Do little things! I swear they mean alot.

My friend in Multan was telling me that thousands of people are placed in different schools near by her area. They have made a small group of friends who have adopted few schools in their localities. They visit these schools regularly, ask what they need, bring them food, clothes, medicines, utensils, toys and books for kids, Quran and prayer mats, etc. Affectees are many and helpers are few. They don't have much resources but they are becoming few drops in the ocean.

My friend's cousin is just 19. He decided to do something and started gathering few things at his house. Other of his friends, their families and his neighbors joined him. He and his friends literally gathered huge amount of goods. They didn't advertise or go to people's doors and ask them for donation. They started collecting stuff and when their peers got to know about this, they came in and gave their share. Later, they arranged a big container and brought these goods to one of the affected areas and distributed the stuff by themselves. There are many but they could only touch one of the affected the areas. Their drop in the ocean can never be undermined. It's as precious as the billions of dollars of aid from the world.

Although the world is now the global village but people still do not know what has happened in Pakistan. The world is still unaware that 20 millions people are displaced and 6 millions among them are children. They do not know that millions of people are sleeping under sky and there is still raining. They do not know that the epidemics are slow-poisoning the poor people. We can aware the people around us as Natasha Jahangir did. Her tweets created awareness in Hollywood stars regarding floods devastations in Pakistan. Tom Cruise, Angelina Joli, Ryan Seacrest, Maroon 5's Adam Lavine, Queen Noor, Michelle Branch and Marie Digby all came in.

It's time to play our roles and think the way of helping them. Let's start from our own home. Let's see what are the things which we do not need and lying idle at our homes. Some of them can be useful for others. I swear we will not die without half of our clothes and shoes. Let's spend some of our pocket money on buying food, water bottles, medicines and other stuff. Believe me, the pleasure of spending money on this stuff will be much more higher than we spend on our hoteling which always ends up on higher calories. It's not difficult to get to these people. They are near you. Go to them, console them, tell them you are with them in this time of misery. Help them! Can't you become a single drop in the ocean?

Ramzan

2010-08-12T11:43:00.002+05:00

Ramzan is here with all its blessings and memories. I am trying to see what I am writing but my eyes...ufff......I think they are also in flood. I am very sad and missing each and everything of my family and of my country.

I don't have words to say anything about the situation of flood in Pakistan. I have only tears to shed upon the misery and helplessness of my people. They have been continuously suffering from all types of crisis. Today, we arranged an event for fund raising at the place where I ve been interning. I remained upset the whole week because I was working on the presentation for this event. The situation is very depressing. I got shocked to know that the loss of property and people's livelihood is three times more than the Earthquake of 2005. I cannot bear the heartbreaking images of flood.

This is the only image which is responsible to make me shuddered. May Allah give us strength to pass through this difficult time.

************

This is my first Ramzan away from my family. I never thought of this time. I never imagined how much difficult it could be. I cried alot from sehri to iftari. At iftari, the oil started jumping out of the pan when I was crying and making pakora side by side. Difficult, extremly difficult time but I ve chosen it and I ve to bear it! I keep saying to myself 'bhugto ab'

While experiencing all this, I have felt the great respect to all those girls who have been married to the person living abroad. O my God! it's extremely difficult. I even have the hope that I will inshAllah go back to my family. but they do not have this hope. So to all those men who have brought their wives from the other place, start respecting the sacrifice their wives have made and salute them subha shaam!!

P.S: Ramzan Mubarik! Let's pray this Ramzan sincerely for our country and try to play our roles in this calamity.

Jashn-e-Azadi of America

2010-07-12T09:02:00.003+05:00

So the United States of America celebrated its independence on 4rth of July. The first thought that struck my mind was 'hein :O America also got freedom from someone'. It sounds silly in the current world scenario.

Khair! we heard that there would be a huge firework near at the Washington Monument. So we planned to enjoy this chance fully. We reached there at 6:00 pm. All nearest Metro stations were closed. So we had to walk to the park in extreme warm temperature. The whole park was overcrowded. My God! People in colorful dresses were worthy to watch. We had a wonderful time there!

Let's see some pictures:
People had been staying there a day before.

They were enthusiastic:

Me at Meenar-e-America:

And the shows began at sharp 9:00

Beautiful!

I loved this one specially:

An a video:

(The monument has to be there)

(Excuse my shaky hands)

People were fun though. All seemed attention seekers in different types of costumes. I wish I could snap all of them (you know you has to be decent). But some were bit disturbing:
I can never think of wearing my flag like this:

(btw the guy was very co0ol :P )

OK I admit I became mean to sit in this chair time and again :| :

(Got it from the last camping expedition)

I dont know what's their definition of respecting their flag and I am not saying that I am the most patriot on earth but literally I can never imagine wearing my flag in feet. A girl was wearing these shoes on July 4. I could not approve it. It was too gross.

Khair sano ki..........So Happy Independence day to America :)

The arrangements were literally fool proof. We had to go through the strict security checks. We stood for an hour to enter the park (check our enthusiasm). The cop dealing with me was very respectful to me (They are mostly bit rude). But he was very nice and remained calling me 'Madam'. Seemed he wasn't upset with my scarf and let me in without checking me. Means some people can still recognize my innocence :P ....hehe....We kept praying everything would go fine and it did Alhamdulillah. Again had to walk to the far away Metro station. There was a long queue but no pushing and pulling. Everyone was standing calmly and waiting for their turn to ride the Metro. It seemed they could stand the whole night. It's the beauty of America. I love it. And one thing is worthy to mention, whenever you see some people leaving their seats for others, they ought to be Asians.

I am in love

2010-06-26T12:54:00.001+05:00

So, I have temporarily moved to Washington DC for the summer internship. I am getting used to the packing, moving to the new places and starting my life from A. I know I will be doing this for the rest of my life. So I should not complain about it anymore. Khair I am completely settled down here now. Same routine is going on. Get up early, rush for the bus, get into the freaky Metro, reach the office, work like a bloody stupid intern (even after working at a senior post for 5 yrs, for God sake!!), return home through the same route (God, God!) and sleep. That's all what I do.

But weekends are fun. I am staying with two of my friends. We share same "lovely" natures :P , so we enjoy alot. One has a car yuhoooooo. We wander around all the time. Tomorrow we are planning to go to Virginia for Chicken Karahi :D (there is a place very famous for karhai, lekin lahore wali baat tu nahi hogi naa ahhh) and may be visiting the water park there.

Here I just want to confess one thing that I am in love:

Yeah that's true. I really liked Washington more than Chicago (Sorry a Fan). There is so much fun here. The historical buildings, very good public transportation system, all type of food around the world, the weather which is same as Lahore's (warm and humid) and top of all PEOPLE here. People are so lovely and helpful. You cant be lost here. You will find someone around to help you to find the place. And they are very well dressed. You will not find even a single person wearing tidy cloths here.

The most excited thing is that the entry to all museums is free. wowowo0o0!! When I came to know this, I could not hide my excitement. You know muft khoray ...hehe.... I love visiting museums. So far I have visited one of them. Will post some pics later.

I will try to keep updating the blog. But I am not sure I will be able to do so or not. Because I am fed with this blog now. In fact, I am fed up with socializing now. I don't know why. These days I want to sit quietly in a corner of my apartment. I think I am missing everyone :(

82'

2010-05-24T08:15:00.000+05:00

I : I think P has solved the whole problem set. I am thinking of matching my answers with her.

She : Don't call her P. Call her baji (elder sis). You know she is older than you.

I : Hein :O .....how did you know this?

She : I checked her facebook account. She is older than us. Why don't you believe me?

I : No, it's not that I am not believing you. She doesn't seem older.

She : But she is.

I : Ok.

She : So call her baji. You dont know any thing about her. You know she was born in 82.

I : Dont tell me? I mean......... Really? :O

She : Gee haan. dekha hoi ho naa heraan!

I : SUre....82....you mean 82?

She : YES 82!

I : You know what.... I was also born in 82 :)

Haha....I wish I could capture those giggling moments in which she became speechless!

P.S. If you are on Facebook, you are a public property.

Fruit Chaat

2010-05-09T01:05:00.004+05:00

Just few minutes back, I came across to my blog just by chance. I checked that the last time I published the well written post was February 7, 2010. It's sad. The main purpose of creating this blog was to record what's going on in my life but I could not record them on regular basis. I used to think that it would be my pastime to read my blog "if" I reach my old age. I am feeling sorry that there were so many interesting things which have been passed without leaving any record. But I think I will write about most of them when I get free and it's not that far when I become a regular blogger :)

When there are so many different things creeping into your mind and you could not find the point to start with, it becomes the post which I am going to write. I could not find the ONE topic to start with so I am going to write exactly what's going on in my multi dimensional mind. Just like Fruit Chaat, different fruits in one plate!

it reminds me Ramzan at my home :)

So every thing in one stroke. Here it goes!!

-My finals of this semester are going to start from 20th of this month. In fact, two of my exams are on the same day. Yeah it's bad. But I have to take them with just 2 hours difference :( . Just four hours and first semester will be finished.
Some of the seasonal fruits are necessary to make fruit chaat. But dont think that potato is also a fruit. Yes some people think so and they put potato in fruit chaat. errr....
-Cobb Douglas production function has so many unique properties and it can explain all types of economic concepts accurately.
-My brother is in Karachi these days for a one-month training. He got rejected from all the universities he has applied to. I am very sad for him. The main reason of his disqualification was the misplacement of one of his diplomas and universities are not ready to reconsider his case due to the tough competition. He was already away from home and all this made him so quiet and at more distance. He is used to share everything with me. I could not talk to him from many days and his quietness is killing me through.
Do check that there will be no marks on fruits when you buy for fruit chaat.
-My skin is losing all its glow in this artificial environment. How much we are near to nature while living in Pakistan? I have realized that melting summers and sharp winters were actually my skin cares. I am missing them all. When I see the mirror, I cannot recognize myself. So It;s better not to see into mirror.
-The variance of P in Lucas Misperception theory is not equal to zero but it's correlation with Zi is zero.
-I forgot chanay on stove while I was chatting with my sis and they all were burnt. My apartment is still smelling :|
-My family is still not aware of the 'fact' that the dorm I am living in is for both girls and boys. :P There are no separate dorms like other unis in US.
It will be fun if you get some chaat masala from any shop. Otherwise the fruit chaat with mere black pepper and slat is a patient feed. Google any Pakistani or Indian shop and get the Shaan masala immediately.
-I cried alot while seeing my father through Skype after three months.
-I have finally decided that my taste for flavored yogurt could not be developed.
-The perfect competition is the bench mark for all types of markets. I will have to cover its all chapters although the chances of coming any question on it are very low.
-The weather here is very uncertain. Sometimes it becomes cold in the morning and warm at the evenings. And whenever I put on jacket it becomes warmer and when I leave it at home it becomes colder.
-Grapes rock in the fruit chaat. Its a must-put-in-thingy.
-My apartment mate is convincing me hard to go to theater with her as they are showing Alice in the Wonderland. I am not sure I will go or not because I have to complete a problem set which I am supposed to submit on Tuesday. Let's see!
-Integration is the opposite of derivation. It's easy and you can do it! (this was for me).
-My nephew makes changes in the list of his gifts each time when I talk to him. Although I know why he's waiting for me so impatiently :P but still when he says to come back soon, my heart melts.
-'A' brought a mickey mouse pen for me when she went to Florida for a conference. I am lucky to have best suite mates :)
-We are planning to go to NY during summer break but we could't get time to search for a cheap flight. I am also visiting my auntie living in Atlanta. And have to go to Chicago also. The summer is going to be a fun.
-A lemon should be there your fridge. Fruit chaat is considered incomplete without it.
-I am still searching for a topic for my paper which I have to complete during summer break. How many things which i need to do in this short time of three months.
-I have starting gaining weight, i guess (happy a fan?). My brother in law is used to tease me alot whenever he sees me on cam. Each time I have the only argument that it's not that I am getting fatty, it is just because I have to be over my laptop for the clearer view. hehe......
-In overlapping generation model, we have to discuss the attitudes and behaviors of two generations.
-I dont understand why there is only sale on strawberries? I am tired of eating 'em now :(
-I am not going to do laundry till my exam and that's final!!
-The only thing which I love since my arrival here is fish burger of the Burger King. McDolands sucks here also. Burger King! I'm lovin it!

-My head is turning into a factory of dandruff. Do anyone need some?
Fruits are usually expensive over there. So wait patiently for the sale. Their sales on fruits are superb.
-Whenever I see my supervisor, we have long discussions. You know on what? No no not on my research. He always tries to convince me to stay here forever and get married to any guy settled here. haha...he is such a sweet person. He is Sikh and damn funny and I really like him. Whenever I talk to him, I feel like i am talking to my father (no my father is not Sikh). We have a deal that he ll find a suitable match for me and if I like the person, I will stay here. Can you believe that? And he is sure that I will find out 100 objectionable points in the person he'll find for me same like his daughter does.
-I have started learning few words of German. It's fun.
-After making the fruit chaat, refrigerate it for some time. Its taste will come out more deliciously.
-Deadweight Loss is consumer surplus plus producer surplus with the implication of limit. Wait wait!! I think I am messing this concept up. Let me check it!

I am leaving you with this must-watch-video. Good bye till my exam and you have to prayer for my exams!!!

I love it more each time I watch it. Especially when she gives a very long argument and his father says "o really?" and she says "yeah"

And this one is also a fun to watch:

P.s. I think I should go for Alice in the Wonderland. Papers to hutay rehtay hein aisi movies dubara nahi lagtiein :P

I am shocked to see this!

2010-05-01T11:00:00.000+05:00

:P

2010-04-21T00:47:00.000+05:00

ehmm....yeah

Living with awesome people :P

2010-04-08T02:10:00.003+05:00

(Coming out of the elevator)

I: Silly girl! what you were doing there?

She: What? What I have done now? (Innocent? :O err.....I will call it acting 'innocently' aur woh bhi Over)

I: You ve been staring at her like hell. She was just few inches away from you. I was myself feeling odd.

She: YOU pointed out "Look at her hair". You are responsible not I!!

I: I didn't mean to start staring her continuously. Your eyes were stuck to her like you were taking her x-ray. How ridiculous? This is the third time you made me embarrassed.

She: Ohoo sorry naa. It's difficult for me not to stare such interesting things :P

I: Stupid!!

She: Errr....actually I have this habit by default. Mind you I am not responsible for this!

I: Who is responsible then?

She: You know I belong to Peshawar. Pathans there are used to stare like I do. I proudly got this habit from them.

I: hahaha weird people!!!

P.S. Blogger.com should have something like Tag :D

Yes I am alive!

2010-03-31T09:41:00.002+05:00

Life is running like a bullet these days (err I always have a same ghissa pitta dialogue for each of my post. yeah i am a boring fellow. Go somewhere else. Or I should suggest which blog you should visit? :| ). There are so many things I want to blog about but I think I wont be able to do so. One day I will myself become a problem while solving these numerous problem sets :( . There are so many things I want to share with you people. I think I will have to find time by hook or by crook. Blog is for me a Self Talk and I need it more than any other time.
Two important things happened these days; like my friend; a fan finally got the entry in Booth. I will be meeting her in Fall. yuppyyyy I am very excited..... about the Baskin-Robbins ice cream which she has already offered me :) .

And I finally ended up today with taking a good exam. I had two really bad ones :( . Thank God i am kind of coming back to studies.

Like you, I also receive tons of forwarded emails. I usually do not read such emails fully. But an email in which the personalities of the persons with specific dates of birth were described, grabbed my attention. It says following about me:

Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-together' s. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!

This small paragraph describes my whole personality. O God!! I dont know who are those people creating such emails but this is so true at least for me. I checked many of my friends', more or less their personality descriptions were correct.

P.s. I ve already explained many times that I like euphoria . Do anyone has any problem with that?

Pray Peace!

2010-03-13T00:51:00.001+05:00

I have been trying to write something for my country. Something meaningful.... any consolation for the people and for me as well. But couldn't write even a single word. Many such moments came but the grief and pain that I am feeling now, never felt before. Sitting far away, I cannot do anything except shedding tears and praying for peace!

Just an ordinary day......

2010-03-07T07:47:00.000+05:00

-Studied the whole night,
-slept for two hours only,
-went to university,
-attended two lo0o0ong classes,
-returned to dorm,
-about to have my lunch,
-cell screamed "Papa calling",
-he wished me good luck for the exam, asked few other things, his voice became heavy and he finally handed over the receiver to mother.....
-I cried for two hours,
-then got up forcefully,
-got ready for uni again, caught the shuttle which was about to leave....lunch forget it!
-reached uni and had the first ever exam of my HIGHER STUDIES in US!
-and B*A*N*G*..

A day finished with ever rising worries and tensions!!!

P.S. I wonder why these tensions have always a new upward shifting convexed to origin curve? and why they always have the tendency to be multiplied by another downward sloping variable? what the hell i am talking about!!!

Sleep baby sleep!

The Rule of Circulation

2010-02-15T00:29:00.000+05:00

When you are abroad, the ratio of bread, jam, butter and egg gets over the ratio of blood in your body!

The real drama!

2010-02-07T06:36:00.001+05:00

Okay guys, after so many ta'anay of The Chef and others, I am going to tell you the story of my thrilling journey.

I had connecting flights from Lahore to Dubai to London to Chicago to Milwaukee. See how much a long journey I had. The whole journey was supposed to take 36 hours approximately. But you would be shocked to know that it took me three days to actually reached Milwaukee. It's a long story? kal naa suna doon? nahi? ok listen then!

I was traveling all alone. Nahi nahi there were other people in the plane, I mean no other fellow girl was traveling with me. All had reached there a day before. My visa arrived two days late so I had to travel alone. Due to fog, my flight from Lahore to Dubai took off eleven hours late. When I reached Dubai, it was a 100 waltz shock for me that I had missed my next flight because it was the connecting flight. I had to stay one night in Dubai. They provided me one night stay in a hotel (a superb hotel) . My cousin's husband is working in Dubai. So I called him after checking in the hotel. He picked me up in half an hour and drove me through Dubai. O God it's a beautiful place, I must say. It was night out there and I kept saying "kitni electricity hai in k paas". Postman! Dubai is a good place to visit :P .....hehe

We went to a big, big, biggest shopping mall. I don't remember it's name but I had its pics. I think it was Carrefour. I would post the pics later. It was quit amazing. I bought a bag for my hand-carry luggage because the bag I had had no wheels and it was extremely difficult to carry it and stand by in lines for checking in. So it was a bad suggestion of carrying a hand carry bag without wheels. And I will surely get my bag's price the person who suggested it! so appi be ready to pay it.

We also went to KFC there. The taste of their chicken was quite different but good. Dubai seems a country of Filipinos. You meet them every where you go. I returned hotel late night. I could sleep the remaining hours. I kept looking at the newly introduced shuttle of Dubai which comes after half an hour. My window was exactly near its track. It looked so yummy seriously. I loved it.

Next day, flight was again two hrs late because of the heavy traffic at Dubai airport. No one comes to sit with me. So I lied on the seat, took the blanket upto my face and slept the whole journey to London. After reaching London, it took me two hours to reach at the counter for the next flight to Chicago, you know the high security checks. My flight to Chicago flew just 10 minutes before I reached there. whooop...I was about to cry at the moment, but got control and started fighting with the Emirates people. They had already arranged my next flight and my stay in London. So another one-night-stay in London. And you know what I was so happy later for losing that flight. hehe..... Many of my relatives live in London. I reached the hotel, checked in and called my uncle who immediately came there and took me to his home. All relatives got to gather at a very short notice and there was an exciting and surprising party which continued the whole night. I met most of them after such a long time. There were so many dishes to taste but I was interested in delicious drum sticks, roasted chicken and the chapatis, O God I missed them alot. All uncles and aunties gave me alot of money for shopping at duty free shops of Heatherow Airport and coins for calling home. I still have more than half of that money.

London was congested type of city but duly planned and beautifully built. I loved its traditional architecture. I was surprised to see its narrow roads and the double decker buses whose drivers are very smart to drive through these roads.

Next day, all came to say me good bye at the Airport. It was the emotional moment. I again felt that someone is dragging me out of my parents, the same feeling which I experienced at the Lahore Airport. I left London with teary eyes. But I WILL always remember the night which I spent there.

The flight was at time, thank God. But it was the alert journey because an old fatty uncle was siting by my side. All the time we struggled to stay away from each. I did not eat any thing during the flight, you know why. I reached Chicago the next day after a long tiring journey. The American Airline had kept me on a stand by seat and another confirmed seat. And luckily my name was called for boarding the plan. I was all smiling and threw a vanity glance at the long waiting queue. Reached Milwaukee finally. I loved the half an hour flight of this small jet plane. The thrilling journey ended peacefully Alhamdulliah. Problems came but along their solutions. I saw beautiful airports and cities and met number people.

I reached Milwaukee at night and my classes started exactly the other day. I am still coping with the jetlag but quite fine now and will be more fine inshaAllah. Study is quite difficult and different. But teachers are all helpful.

Surprise!

2010-02-05T09:13:00.000+05:00

I knocked at the door of my newly alloted apartment. An Indian girl opened the door and welcomed me with her cheerful smile. O thank God! I had prayed that one of my apartment mates should be a Muslim or an Indian. Thank you Allah gee!!!

And sorry I again could not type the long post. I promise I will try it the next time!! kasam say!

Tears all the way!

2010-02-04T00:10:00.002+05:00

Chatting is fine. You can send cheerful replies to your loveones while shedding the tears and telling them every thing is going perfect. BTW why these tears are used to so warm? It may be because they come straight from your heart at the time when you feel like someone is stirring your heart on the flame. Damn it!! I always talk rubbish!

Carry money!

2010-01-27T23:42:00.001+05:00

Ok laugh at me again. But it's true. I have to carry money everywhere. I couldn't open my bank account yet. Dollars accompany me everywhere I go. I have developed such a great love for them. I love to take them with me even in the bathroom :D.

Jeans, bathroom and dollars.........is there anything left in my life?

2010-01-26T07:43:00.000+05:00

God! how much it's difficult to walk in jeans.......and going to loo.......damnnnnn!!!

Good Bye

2010-01-21T23:10:00.000+05:00

Good bye everyone. I am going finally!

Do pray for me please!!

There's many a slip between cup and lip!

2010-01-15T23:27:00.002+05:00

It was a rumour just few days back but now it has come out to be a reality. Yes it has happened to me. You can tell people around you that it's no more a rumour. It is happening.

Precisely, I am informed by my sponsoring body that my case is still in process and could not yet get the clearance from the Security Department. And do you know why? Because my Surname is Khan. Additionally, my father's middle name is Ullah which is also suspecious for them. They have serious security concerns about me.

My sponsoring body and their Mission in Pak have tried to make me understand what their system is and what the problem is. But all seems their excuses or consolations.

My classes are going to start on Jan 25. My flight was on Jan 19. I have received the ticket but all is useless. This would be second time that my flight is going to delay.

I wish i could have any friend available at this time of the night. Do I want to cry? But what would I get through it. Everyone is already upset at home due to me. Stop these tears you silly darn!!! STOPPPP!!

I dont know what's next. But I will have to face what has written for me. Is it really happening to me?

Punning Culture

2010-01-15T15:38:00.002+05:00

I have been observing that the Punning Culture is getting popular these days. I dont know about the other cities of Pakistan, but in Lahore, you cannot escape from it anywhere you go. On last weekend, the following discussion was happened between a shopkeeper and I:

I: Is shawl ki kiya price hai bhai?

Shopkeeper: Baji! ye 2000 ki hai.

I: Itni expensive....(I checked the stuff again).... tu bhai do gay kis terhan?

Shopkeeper: Shopping bag mai daal kay...... (and he started smiling like hell with his missing tooth)

Helpless

2010-01-11T17:06:00.000+05:00

I wish I could stop my sister till my departure :(

BTW, am I really going? :O

The Averages

2010-01-09T13:39:00.001+05:00

It happens every time. Whenever I expect the worst, I get the average. And whenever I expect the best, I again stick to the average. The Average is becoming a part of my life. Or it may not be wrong if I say that my life is based on averages :P

I was the average student, an average human being with average looks, an averagely loving person, an average well-dressed, average serious, average witty, average intelligent, average hardworking and I only love Averages in mathematics. How funny :D

Khair! I was expecting worst behavior of my relatives while meeting them. But the day went off without anything worst but averagely good. Interesting!

Except my dadi jaan who remained telling me that I am going to take her heart with me. And how her son will live without me. Ahhhh……It was the real drama, an emotional one but I didn’t cry. Not even a tear fell from my eyes. I could not bear anyone crying in front of me. I remember that I used to cry even to watch any emotional scene on tv. Khair! I am trying to avoid it. It may be beacuse I have cried alot or that I am saving my saltish water for my future. Or that I want to show others that I am a brave girl and happy on what is going to happen. There may be many reasons. Many people tried to make me cry through their sentimental dialogues but I am a dheet of my kind. Oh yes the one reason may be that I am kind of selfish....*sheeeesh*. I hope it's not!

One thing that I forgot to mention that I am averagely excited on going abroad. Dont know why but I never had dreams of going abroad or all that. I am happy and thanking Allah SWT but not that excited which I should be. I am going through strange feelings these days.

Difficult time!

2010-01-08T17:02:00.001+05:00

My parents had been trying to prepare me for the current situation. I thought I was ready enough to face it if my family supports me, but now when I am in it, I feel it extremely difficult to face. I have also put my family in a difficult situation. They are tired of answering people's rang barangay questions.

My parents have disclosed to the whole family and friends that I am going abroad for studies. What type of reaction you may expect from the whole family? "Abroad :O ...haw she's going alone".

Some, in fact two or three families congratulated. But all of my father's friends congratulated him warmly. One even came to our home with sweets. I love him. We literally had good time with him in our childhood. He was so excited like my father and gave his wishes. Relatives living abroad called my parents and told them how much big this news is. My two cousins only, one sis and one bro, sent their wishes. But no one from my real aunties and uncles congratulated us except one of my uncles. My dadi didn't approve my father's decision. And many have told my parents that they would have to repent on this decision (God forbidden). It hurt me, hurt me alot.

My father has asked me to visit my dadi's home where most of my uncles live in. I am going to visit there today. I dont know what reception I would receive but I would have to bear it all. My father wants me to listen everyone patiently and to say everyone good bye even if they dont want to see my face. Let's see what would happen today!

Heavy Weight!

2010-01-04T16:53:00.000+05:00

What more I can say or pray....

I just hate my thiny friends. I would have to search for the new ones :P !

THE YEAR THAT WAS AND THE YEAR THIS IS!

2010-01-01T20:21:00.015+05:00

Another year has been passed. I had been complaining from many years that time had been flying like hell. I was just watching days passing year over years. But it didn't happen during the 2009. I felt the each day passing by. spent each day counting the remaining ones. I spent most of the time whether in working or waiting.Oh God how many tests and interviews I have been taken this year?

When I stepped in the 2009, I was emotionally bruised at all fronts of my life. I had a very tough time in 2008. The few starting months of 2009 were spent collecting myself. Trying to disengage from your past and stepping into your present with the zest and ardor for the future was really very hard. I did nothing. But Allah SWT paved my way throughout and my family supported me fully. Alhamdulillah

I set few goals in 2009. One of them was to get promoted and the other was to score admission for higher studies. Whole year was passed in hardworking and struggle. I wasn’t sure if I would hit any of my goals. But I decided to give my best. Although the ghosts of past (as a fan call them) remained after me pulling me back. But they are after all the past and I tried to live the present and to worry about the future.

Thank you Allah Mian gee, thank you very much. You are the Greatest. No words can thank you for the blessings you have bestowed upon and is still granting me with the best. Please! accept my bowing of head as my thanks. The fruit of my hardworking is much more than what I had expected. I got promoted and scored the admission finally. I still feel that I am dreaming. Is it really true? If not then please Allah gee make me asleep forever.

I got the bonus when my parents allowed me to avail the opportunity of studying abroad. You know what, my family is still shocked. They are asking my father time and again if he has really allowed me to go US. haha......He responds, "Yes and I am really proud of her. MashAllah she did the impossible. How could I deprive her from having such an honour? I can't". I dont believe it too. I just love my parents. I feel myself literally in heaven. My all wishes are coming true.

One resolution was to reduce weight. Just leave it! it wasn't that important :D .
And yes I am more than happy that I need not to retake the GRE. woohoooo!!

And the marriage.....it has been further postponed for two more years but with my parents' consent. :)

So one year has been gone and the other has been started. Happy New Year to everyone1

The 2010 is going to bring a complete change in my life. I am all ready for it but kind of scared as well. This year, I would have one heavy duty resolution: 'Reduce weight'. Yes it has become important NOW because I feel it difficult to breathe in jeans :)

So on your marks!
Get set!
Go!!!

Jeans Training

2009-12-30T13:49:00.003+05:00

I am much more concerned about what I would wear there than living alone. You can ask me from where you can get shafon, georgette, cotton, or from where you can get the best embroidery in Lahore but I am unable to find good stuff for wearing there. I dont know from where you can get the best ladies outfits, the modest shirts, decent looking uppers, jackets, comfortable ladies joggers, I don’t know any thing. And the damn jeans. God! the most stupid outfit I have ever worn.

Let me tell you clearly that I never ever wore jeans or trousers or pants or anything similar to them. OK call me paindo. I wont mind. I have even stopped wearing choori dar pajama long ago. I remember once my father came to pick me from the Uni. One of my friends was wearing jeans with long shirt while one was wearing loose trousers. Later, father told me politely that he did not like girls wearing jeans or trousers. I took it as his indirect order. I never had a plan to wear them and after that I never even thought of it. But now it came out to be the only outfit that can be worn in such an extreme weather. Now father is advising me not to take risk of wearing any thing else than jeans. Change is inevitable

So A (my bro) and I went on a mission which was meant purely for shopping jeans. He was sure that there is no difference between the jeans of men and women. He had to ask the lady for clearing his confusion who remained staring him bitterly afterwords. I didn't know my waist size. Coz I have gained much weight these days so I asked for 34. She looked at me suspiciously. I felt embarrassed and asked "35 bhi dikha dein". She smiled this time and looked at her helper who was a guy. I thought his size was 35. She said "try 34. 35 wont fit you". I felt a pinch. 'aahaan'. "pagal 35 is no size. 36 hota hai". It was A. hahaha I tried not to show any reaction. khair I tried 34. It took me 15 minutes to jump into and out of the jeans. It was loose. She took the measurement herself and declared that 32 would be fit and it was. The shop was packed with the skinny jeans. I wanted the loose one. Like this:

It wasn't available anywhere. We checked many shops. The jeans which I have bought are loose but not that much. Khair I would have to search them there.

Same is the situation with me. LOL....

I bought these loose yoga pants too in white. The only piece I love :)
The shopkeeper was calling it something else.Quilips perhaps...dont remember exactly!

So in future, you will see me in this outfit. And please dont laugh if I look clumsy because I will. hehe..

A was saying that I look so awkward when I walk in jeans. Whatever!

Searching has been started for shirts. Although I have bought few of these:

but can anyone tell me from where I can have this:

Lil updates

2009-12-26T15:03:00.002+05:00

I had interview last week. It was good. This time a lady took my interview and we literally had a good laugh at many points. We also had a small unexpected ceremony there. It absolutely deserves a detailed post. I will do that as soon as I get time. In a nut shell, visa will surely be late due to Christmas holidays here and in US also. I hope I get it before my classes get start.

We had Saturday off this week and Monday as well. So I have arrived at my sister's home in Multan. Bro is also with me. It was a surprise visit for them. Everyone is so excited here, so am I. Kids are dancing around. I don't know why they jump so much. Bhaiyya (my bro in law) is asking my sister to make desi ghee walay parathay and halwa. We are going to have paye in the lunch and would take dinner in some restaurant, as per bhaiyya's schedule. He took off today and is after me for eating this and that saying that I would not be able to enjoy them for a long time. I have already gained alot of weight. God! what would happen to me now? wesay, is there any way to store these things in your body? Do tell me!!

And yes dont have time to read your blogs guys or to respond to your comments. Sorry for that. I will surely come back soon.

Cya :)

Thankless Creature

2009-12-21T14:16:00.000+05:00

I am passing through a strange kind of condition and unable to name it. I am in anxiety, in deep anxiety. Am I doing right? would it be good for me and my family? How would I adjust there? The fear of unknown is taking me over and my pleasure for what I am going to get is fading away. I wanted that my parents and the whole family would let me go happily. They are happy. In fact, they are proud of me. Why I am unable to feel any thing? Dont understand why....

I am feeling guilty of my condition. Instead of thanking Allah SWT for granting me this Golden opportuniry, I keep waiting for anyone to stop me going abroad. See! how foolish I am. I longed for this moment and when it has come, i am trying to hide myself in my blanket. I am feeling like someone is grabbing me from my parents and throwing me far far away.

Everything is going fine. My father remains insisting me for ordering any dinner suit (hai koi baat). My brother keeps planning from where we would get the warmest cloths according to the weather there. Mom remains listing what utensils I would need there. My sister is stitching my shirts and other stuff. Brother in law keeps worrying whether I will get the off from his work till my flight. And kids they are reminding me time and again what I should bring for them. Their demand list is extending farther. And in all of them, I keep watching their faces, whether they are really happy or posing to be.

O God! forgive this thankless creature of Yours and help me in overcoming this condition. Ameen!

I wish I had a wife

2009-12-19T12:59:00.000+05:00

Sounds odd? but that's what I am.

Since I have started working and have to manage both work and home at the same time, I feel of being deprived of a wife. Means what wrong I have done that I have been deprived of a wife. Just because I am myself a women and I can only become someone's wife but cannot have my own wife? It's unfair, utterly unfair.

The sense of deprivation is getting me over day by day, especially when I see my male colleagues being babied by their wives. Why these dumb males have been bestowed with the comfort of wives?

Life would have been so easy and sweet if I also had a wife. I would wake up with the enchanting voice of my wife (not with the bitter alarm of my cell). Bathroom would welcome me with the warm water and towel and other things placed rightly (not that I would have to scream from the bathroom 'who the hell has taken my beauty soap), hence she would guard all my stuff from the unseen invaders. My dress for the office would wait for me outside, neatly ironed and hanged. She would keep ready my hand bag with all required things and never forget to put the mobile in it (damn! I sometimes forget it at home and find no one to blame for it). The yummy breakfast with hot cup of tea would cherish my mood further. When I would leave the home for office, she would hand over to me the lunch box which I would share with my colleagues and accept their appreciation wholeheartedly for the delicious meal. She would call me in office to ask if I need something special at dinner.

When I would reach home she would receive me with the evening tea and snacks (I would prefer baigan k pakoray and cheese sandwitch). She would ask me about my day and I would tell her how hectic the day was. She would offer to give me massage which I would accept hesitantly (seemingly :P . Dont bring bad thoughts in your mind aray bhai I get tired of sitting in front of computer all the day. Otherwise i am straight :P ). Then she would serve me with the appetizingly tasty dinner and also the kahwa afterwords. She would do all the dishwashing, reset the kitchen and would put all leftovers in refrigerator (I hate when I am in bed and my mom calls me to put leftovers in fridge). She would insist me to sleep early because I would have to go to office the next day and working is supposed to be chaotic (no need to hear from mom 'dont leave your work for tomorrow). How peaceful my life would have been if I had a wife? Alas! I am a woman and born to give comfort to others, not to be comforted.

It's the only disadvantage of being a girl. ahhhh With this deep sigh, I would sign off.

Hold on, if I had a wife, I didn't need to type this long post. I would say aloud and she would type the post and would also read out others' blogs. wah wah.

So off off with this scholastic note "No life without wife".

A Flashback

2009-12-15T21:00:00.003+05:00

My mom is very fond of watching dramas. I have to watch some of them with her. I didn't remember the name of the drama but Maria Wasti was doing some terrible acting in a play. No strong story, no attractive scene, no impressive cast, what has actually done with our dramas.

I started recalling some of the very old dramas. God! I still remember stories of many of the. I came to my system and started checking few of them on Youtube. There are few dramas which I can never forget. I want to share my favourite with you:

I just love this scene mostly and the script is awesome:

Act Dumb!

2009-12-15T16:12:00.001+05:00

Part 1:

On another day, we girls were discussing on a Blog that 'Acting Dumb' saves you from many hassles. Being a working lady, you have to live and survive in a male dominated work environment where males are joking and kidding around and they may roll you in it. If you respond their kidding positively, you are trapped. Then each time, they would try to crack jokes around you and expect appreciation from you in form of smile or laugh even on their dumb and ‘basement’ (means literally lower) type jokes. The spontaneous and seldom smiling is some thing natural. It does not create any problem.

So the technique “Act dumb” is a very safe way of getting rid of these kinds of kidding. If you like the joke, enjoy it inside but act dumb through your facial expressions. Men would think of you Jenny (hehe) and would avoid cracking jokes in front of you. It may hurt your image of intelligent lady but believe you me it may save you from many problems, especially the meaningful talk which your colleagues actually intend to make YOU listen.

Beside all these tactics, sometimes you have to listen and respond to others. In my private life, I speak spontaneously without giving any second thought (actually first thought) to what I am saying. But in my professional life, I have to think before speaking. And whenever I try to think first (most difficult task), I lose the chance of responding appropriately and timely and when the moment is passed, many possible answers come in my mind. It always happens to me. Hence, it’s useless to think whether it’s before and after saying anything.

***********************

Everyone likes to be appreciated. I don’t deny the human nature. But I don’t know why I feel so awkward when someone praises me. I feel more happy when people appreciate my work and nature but it turns out embarrassing when it comes to my appearance or all. I mean I like to dress decently but when someone praises my dressing, I get annoyed and it becomes clearly visible from my facial expressions. I mean if I don’t want to be appreciated, then why the hell I dress and present myself so well. I think I also have a dual personality. Since I have started working, I could not make myself used to such appreciation and I admit my inability I to hide my expressions as well. My fierce expressions stop people from complimenting in future. But still it’s a problem for me. I don’t digest blunt and direct, even indirect compliments on ME. And when I don’t like compliments so I cannot say thanks in response, bad etiquette. In fact, I am learning what to say at such moments keeping the distance and the reserveness of my behavior.

****************

The speechless moments are numerous and I think they are on rise. Does it mean I have started thinking? Don’t know but I think I am getting quiet by the passing time. was it a dumb joke? Khair I don’t have any thing worthy to write upon so I decided to recall some of my Speechless Moments. Oh “Speechless Moments” can be a good title of this post. Errrr…..I thought again after writing/saying something.

So here they are:

My Boss always needs briefing before any meeting regarding the previous meeting. Hai koi baat...Don’t know why he always forgets what was discussed in the last meeting even attending the meeting in full consciousness. There was a meeting regarding one of my projects, so I was called in his office. Another brother colleague was also sitting there silently. I started my briefing and Boss started refreshing his memory by saying “haan yaad aiya”. I paused for picking some other points, while boss pointed out towards the brother colleague:

Boss: What’s wrong with you? You look so tired today.
B. C: Do I? (he looked at me and sought my approval and I ‘Acted Dumb’)
Boss: Yes it’s evident from your eyes, same as her eyes show that she is a quite naughty girl but she tries to hide it a lot (he directly pointed out towards me).
B. C: You are right my daughter was ill and I had to stay awake all night. And you are also right on the second point.

Now both started looking at me and got speechless.

Boss: Am I right?
I: No, I am not naughty. (I said with an expressionless face).
Boss: No I cannot be wrong (I know you are a Boss). I judge people rightly. You know I taught for 10 years. I can read faces and eyes of kids. And your eyes are opposite to your composed nature.
I: No ….(pause)….actually…..hmmm……(thinking what to say) ….So I was telling you that no major decision was made in the last meeting (I handed over a paper to him).

Boss stared at me for few seconds, and then at bro colleague, both smiled and he took the paper from my hand.

*****************

One of the sis colleagues called me in her cabin when she was sitting with a bro colleague:

She: Hey! give us a second please!
I: What's the matter? (I stopped there)

She: Check his eyes (she pointed towards him)
I: What?
She: Did you notice some wrinkles around his eyes?

Now he started looking at me with the desire to listen some comments from me.

I: hmmm….(pause)…err….(I looked at the paper in my hand)....actually....I don’t understand what do you want to listen?
She: Oho I was actually advising him to get married now (she’s is married and she cannot see singles roaming around). Isn’t he getting old?

I saw him, then the paper, then her, paper, him, tube light, her, peon, paper, her, table, paper, him…….oh God. In this whole time, he was seeing me like he would force me to say some thing for his wrinkled eyes. Damn! he was enjoying my situation.

I thought it better to slip from the scene.

I heard her saying at my back “oho mai bhi kis say poochnay bheit gai jis nay shaid apni shakal bhi mirror mai sahi terhan naa dekhi ho. Listen to me! I am telling you it’s the right time for getting married… :(

*****************

Once I wore a beautiful kolhapuri chappal. I still love it. It's of pink color with a big stone on it surrounded by some embroidery. But once a colleague praised the chappal with “it actually suits in your feet”. I never wore that chappal again.

**************

I was arguing with a colleague:

I: Actually my point of view is that we need not to define each and every thing in SOPs. Some thing should remain in black and white.

He: I agree with you but.....can you please clean lipstick from your teeth!

I never used lipstick since then. Mom was informing me that all lipsticks have been frozen in the refrigerator. She was threatening me to give all to the maid.... :(

***************

To be continued...

You won't believe it, so would I

2009-12-14T15:09:00.002+05:00

You can only read the post if you promise me that you won't laugh at the end. OK? Fine. go on!

Did you people watch the Indian movie “Dil walay Dulhaniya lay jayen gay”? I hope many would have seen it. My cousin once bought its cassette (CDs were not common then). I watched, in fact had to watch the movie whenever I visited her home because it was her all time favourite. It wasn’t my fav but my cousin tried a lot to make it so.

Many of its dialogues and scenes have been glued to my mind. I unintentionally attach many of the happenings around me to this movie. Some thing happens around me and I start thinking about same or similar thing happened in this movie too. Damn to my cousin. But it’s all unintentional. Many times I think of my cousin as an Indian spy who forced me to watch the movie like a mother puts milk bottle forcefully in baby’s mouth when the baby is sleeping. See! How stupidly I attached the some thing to this movie again, of course unintentionally!!

Do you remember the last scene of “Dil walay Dulhaniya lay jayen gay”? Let me remind you:

All are standing on the railway station. Train starts slowly. Shahrukh Khan (the hero) is in train with the bruised face seeing direct in the eyes of Amresh Puri (father of Kajol, the heroine). Amresh is holding the hand of Kajol while she is trying to release her hand saying “Let me go father. I cant live without him”. Train whistles. Kajol is begging. Shahrukh is also begging through his eyes. Amresh Puri still looks fierce. Kajol is now crying and requesting her father to let her. Suddenly an unexpectedly, Amresh uncle leaves her hand. Kajol gets shocked. She cannot move even an inch. She’s watching in her father’s eyes unbelievingly while her father says “Go beta go. No one can keep you happy except him”. The train is whistling. He continues “go beta and live your life as you want”. Kajol comes into consciousness. She moves backward slowly. Her father screams again “Go beta go”. She is now completely alert. Train whistles again. She sees the train, then her father who is still screaming with joy. Finally, she runs to the train. Train also takes its speed. She runs faste. Shahrukh is rendering his hand to her. Her family is backing her up for catching the train. She runs faster and faster (she might be a bullet train in her previous janam) and gets into the train. The movie ends happily.

Minus the hero and the purpose behind heroine’s run towards the train, same happened with me. Err….if not same but almost familiar. My father wasn’t allowing me to go. Time was flying like an F 16. My father hadn’t decided what I should do. All of the sudden; he leaves my hand and pushes me to hold the time. Thinking what’s the meaning of all this, I am standing still. Am I in consciousness? Am I dreaming? Or he is asleep? With the each push of my father, I lose the sight. How one sees clearly in tears? I lose the meaning of things around me. How one can think with a paralyzed mind? I even forget for what I was struggling. There is nothing in my mind to think upon. I can only listen the sound of a whistle. But why my father’s back-ups couldn’t help me moving? This is what I had wanted to. But why I have become paralyzed? Why am I not feeling any thing? I think I am dreaming. Yes it can only be a dream!!

The Wedding Season

2009-12-11T15:11:00.060+05:00

In Pakistan, the wedding season starts with the beginnning of winters. This time the winter season started early so did the wedding season. When you come out on the weekend, you will be shocked rather surprised to see the weddings around. It seems the whole city is getting married.

Each year after attending weddings of 'others', I think that there will be lesser weddings next year. But the same situation appears next year. I mean what the hell.....I dont understand from where these hundred of bachelors come out, jam-pack the markets, force tailors to delay other innocents people's dresses, awake us forcefully till the morning, try to make us deaf with the horrible sounds of crackers and the pathetic orchestra of gali mahalla bands, block the roads and celebrate their weddings. wah wah. It's YOUR wedding. Why do you make the whole suffer? I especially hate delays on wedding functions. People have to starve literally until lunch or dinners are served.

This year, we have attended five weddings in our family and friends. Three more are to come. I have become bored of all these typical styled weddings. Why don't people try some innovative stuff in these boring functions?

The weddings look like a drama or film for me now. And the bride and groom....oh God....the most pathetical creature in the wedding functions. Same chamkeeli girlish embroidered sherwanis and kullas.....and the brides who look more like a gola gunda than a bride.

See youself, do they look naa? :D

The bride and groom are focal points. wesay I wonder why do they look so innocent and stupid on their weddings. See!

Hehe sorry haan.........dont know whether they are really innocent or they pose so. OK fine I know I will be lined up one day with these monkeys.....errrrr......I mean Monkey :D. One thing I really like that bride and groom sit on the stage and start collecting money. Wowwww....I dont know who had invented this tradintion but this is the only thing I like most. Everyone likes making money :P . The guests should present more and more money to the couple because expenses remain greater than the actual earning in the name of 'salami'.

On last wedding function, I was thinking that all brides look same in their bridal get-ups. Same dress, same make up and same jewelry. At night I did some search about the brides around the world. Interestingly, or I should painfully that bechari brides are every where treated with heavy makeups, jewelry and dresses than their grooms. Why this discrimination?

Khair. I tried to find out bridal traditions in different parts of the world, especially in Muslim world. Some brides look really sophisiticated, some look funny, some really decent and impressive and some look a prey to their traditions. Let's have a look of them:

A Bangladeshi Bride

An Indonesian Couple

The Malaysian Bride

I never liked the kissing scene on western weddings but this is awesome!!

Ching po chee...the Chinese couple

A Massai Bride, Africa

An Arab Bride

Afar Bride, Djibouti

Is there anyone in it?

Iranian Wedding....I dont believe; One groom and two brides :O

Egyptian Bride (Is she breathing?)

A Bulgarian Bride

(Why did she remind me of Eid ul Azha)

The Yemeni Bride

The Zulu Bride

OoO the most decent couple

I think she was from Brunei, dont remember exactly. She's elegant

A Thai Bride

Who says brides cant eat on their wedding?

haha...

OoOps!

Who says Muslim Bride cant do photo session :P

Notice some thing in this pic?

Did you get it? No?.....then see khussa with sox Hawwww!

And check this one too!

And in the end this one is really adorable. A Pakistani Bride

Simple, elegant and graceful

Once I had them

2009-12-10T11:44:00.001+05:00

OK gee here it is as promised. Hey sorry for being late :)

Few days back, oh I think weeks back, I was telling someone that my legs and feet were not same what they are now Alhamdulillah. When I was just 8 months old, it was discovered that I had Physiological Genu Varum or Genu Varum. I had just started walking at that time. Interestingly, my parents didn't notice the disease as they were happy to see me walking and trembling. It is common that toddlers are used to tremble when they start walking. So it's difficult to distinguish if they are trembling of Physiological genu varum or they are trying to balance themselves.

What is Physiological Genu Varum or Genu Varum?

"Genu varum (also called bow-leggedness or bandiness), is a deformity marked by medial angulation of the leg in relation to the thigh, an outward bowing of the legs, giving the appearance of a bow. It is also known as bandy-leg, bowleg, bow-leg, and tibia vara".

"Children until the age of 3 to 4 have a degree of Genu Varum. The knee-joints approach one another; the femur slopes downward and inward towards the knee joints; the tibia become straight; and the sole of the foot faces almost directly downwards".

A bowleg kid and a normal healthy kid

Causes:

"If a child is sickly, either with rickets or suffering from any ailment that prevents the due ossification of the bones, or is improperly fed, the bowed condition may remain persistent. Thus the chief cause of this deformity is rickets".

"Skeletal problems, infection, and tumors can also affect the growth of the leg, sometimes giving rise to a one-sided bow-leggedness. The remaining causes are occupational, especially among jockeys, and from physical trauma, the condition being very likely to supervene after accidents involving the condyles of the femur. Adults with rickets are thought to be bowlegged due to horse back riding".

Keep in mind that the extra-ordinary increased weight can also cause bowed legs in toddlers and also in adults. So child should be healthy but not fatty that his own legs cannot bear him.

Expectations:

"In most cases persisting after childhood, there is little or no effect on the ability to walk. Due to uneven stress and wear on the knees, however, even milder manifestations can see an accelerated onset of arthritis. Those with bowlegs and a genetic predisposition for developing arthritis will likely start having arthritic symptoms around age 30".

Treatment:

"Generally, no treatment is required for idiopathic presentation as it is a normal anatomical variant in young children. Treatment is indicated when it persists beyond 3 and half years old, Unilateral presentation, or progressive worsening of the curvature. When caused by rickets, the most important thing is to treat the constitutional disease, at the same time instructing the mother never to place the child on its feet. In many cases this is quite sufficient in itself to effect a cure, but matters can be hastened somewhat by applying splints. When the deformity arises in older patients, either from trauma or occupation, the only treatment is surgery".

So that was all about the Genu Varum. I caught the disease due to Rickets.

What is Rickets?

"Rickets is a softening of bones in children potentially leading to fractures and deformity. Rickets is among the most frequent childhood diseases in many developing countries. The predominant cause is a vitamin D deficiency, but lack of adequate calcium in the diet may also lead to rickets"

Causes:

Those at higher risk for developing rickets include:

Breast-fed infants whose mothers are not exposed to sunlight
Breast-fed infants who are not exposed to sunlight
Individuals not consuming milk, such as those who are lactose intolerant

Individuals with red hair have been speculated to have a decreased risk for rickets due to their greater production of vitamin D in sunlight.

If a mother has low vitamin D levels during pregnancy, her infant may have rickets at birth; this is often referred to as Congenital Rickets.

Treatment:

"Treatment involves increasing dietary intake of HGH, phosphates and vitamin D. Exposure to ultraviolet B light (sunshine when the sun is highest in the sky), cod liver oil, halibut-liver oil, and viosterol are all sources of vitamin D".

Rickets may cause many physical deformities. It caused Genu Varum in my body when I was less than a year.

My Story:

I was a healthy baby, not that fatty but healthy and very active. When I started walking I used to tremble alot. My parents thought it all normal. Once my phupha visited us who is a dentist and was working in Saudia at that time. I was as usual walking, rather trying to walk in front of him when he pointed out that my legs were bit bowed. The disease was in its earliest stage. With all the intake of Vitamin D and other calcium, some specific medicines are also used to impede the disease and to erect the bowed legs. In those days, (err it was early 80s) its medicines were not available in Pakistan. I hope they are available now. My uncle was kind enough to send me all the medicines from Saudi Arabia. I was completely alright till the age to two.

My father is used to tell me about it. I never took it seriously. But when I read myself about the disease in detail how some people could not get rid of it and have to live with the permanent deformity, I indebtedly bow my head to Allah Subhanna Aa Ta'ala for granting me the perfect health.

If your kid has bowed legs, dont worry. It's completely cureable if diagose at the right time. My disease was caught and treated at the right time. I have spent and is spending my life Alhamdulillah in full swing. I was a good player of basketball. And yes I was among the fastest runners of 100 meters runnig also. I never faced any problem in walking and running.

When you have the deficiency of Vitamin D at any stage of your life, try to go through the complete treatment and of course you would have to take care of yourself rest of your life. Because the tendency of bone fracture may increase in you than in anyone else.

I was an extremely naughty and out of control child. My parents used to literally request me not to take a part in any sport or any physical activity. At that time, I was little to understand what's harm in it. But many times I got serious injuries during playing. I stopped participating in all type of sports when my wrist sprained during a tennis match.

I started cycling then. I considered it safe. I still love it. Imagine in the hot days of June and July when temperature's 40 to 45, I took my mountain bike out, made my baby brother sit on the rod (hehe bechara) and started towards the unknown destinations. My brother still remembers how skillfully I used to take out the keys of main door under my mom's pillow and how silently I took out the bike from the garage. hehe. I had another hobby that was jumping out of the walls. I preferred jumping their walls rather going through main gates :D . During such a jump, my arm got fractured at two plases. But it was all fun. I had a month off from the school :D .

See! I had this disease but Alhamdulillah it was treated at the right time. In a nut shell, it is necessary to keep an eye on your kid's health and growth. We do practice all baseless traditions keenly but I dont know why we are unable to develop and promote the culture of regular medical check-ups.

Sources:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickets
-http://www.doctorslounge.com/pediatrics/diseases/genuvar.htm
-http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00230

Peshawar, Lahore, Pindi and now Multan

2009-12-09T13:58:00.000+05:00

My little nephew who's in nursery to my brother-in-law:

Nephew: Baba! what should I do when there is a bomb blast in school (Khuda na khuasta)?

BIL: beta try to stay away from the main gate. You ll be alright. Nothing would happen.

Nephew: But if bomb walay uncle enters the school then?

BIL: Then lay down on the ground and cover your ears with your hands.Understand?

Nephew: OK

BIL: and if you see your teacher around, go to her and do whatever she says. OK?

Nephew: and if teacher says nothing?

BIL: then lay down and close your eyes. No need to see here and there.

************

Listening to all this, I couldn't stop my tears. How much terrible our lives have become? What type of fear this is. Death is eternal. We cannot espace from it. But such a painful death with listening the screames of injured and dying people around is unimaginable. Life is uncertain but when this uncertainity overcomes you all over, you die before your time.

These days, we live on daily basis. Each day, I thank Allah SWT for keeping me and my family safe. Yea I sound selfish but what I can do except praying that my country gets rid of all those who are doing this. May Allah guard everyone, He is the actual Protector.

I have stopped watching news. I cannot bear the scenes of dead bodies and cries of their loveones over them. Just a single bomb blast ruin the nemerous families with the lost of their bread earners. Not only few people die in these bomb blasts, their whole families die with them. They die spiritually if not physically. Can they forget all this? No, no way!! The accidental deaths can never be forgotten. NEVER! No word can console the family of deceased. And the announced money, Is there any value of a life?

Parents are especially in an extremely difficult situation. I can understand how my mother lets me leave the home daily in prayers and wishes. Whole day, my father keeps calling me and advising me not to go anywhere unnecessarily. My colleagues remain in stress until their children reach home from the schools.

I wish that I wake up one day and find every thing PERFECTLY alright. Can my wish change any thing? I wish it could!

The Eid Post

2009-12-03T13:24:00.004+05:00

Due to the busiest schedule on and after Eid, I could not post any thing. So first deserves the Eid Post :)

Alhamdulillah, this Eid was surely the most memorable eid at our home. We have actually celebrated two eids this year. Just one day before Eid, the result of my brother's final year had been declared and he has officially become a Doctor of Pharmacy. I have been teasing him by calling him 'doctor sab' haha...the expressions come on his face hearing this title are utterly cute and entertaining. Can you believe, he shies away to listen 'doctor sab'. My God! when will my baby brother become a Man :P .

We have passed literally a difficult time with him. My father wanted him to become a physician. Although he wanted to go for engineering, his childhood dream but he respected my father's wish and tried for it. Tried sincerely hard but could not get the admission in MBBS just with the margin of few percentage. When you lost the chance of MBBS, there are not left much opportunity to go with. It was extremely difficult time. My brother lost courage and enthusiam and father considered himself responsible for all this. But thank God, the tough time had passed. He got the title anyway :P and I hope he will soon get the suitable job inshAllah. He has started some work already mashAllah. So doctor sab! my prayers are with you. I wish you all the best :) and you know I will stand by you forever. But I will not leave my money which you have borrowed :|

O haan I was telling about the Eid activities. I made sheer khurma on chaand raat and as usual it turned out utterly delicious mashAllah. Nani gave me Rs 100 for that effort.

Sheer Khurma sponsored by Olpers Milk and others.

On first day of Eid, I handled all the meat with my father and distributed it among the family, friends, neighbours and others. Papa gee kept telling me how to make three parts of meat and how to distribut it all. Due to my excellent skills of management and quality of generosity, the meat finished before the evening and mom started yelling at me about the important families who have to live this year without our distributed meat.I am sorry for that.

Check this one!

No no you took me wrong. It's not about giving the proof that we did qurbani alhamdulillah this year too hehe. Actually I wanted to show you the cloth under the meat. See the yellow cloth with something written on it. See it again?

The story of the Cloth under the Meat:

A year before, once on a windy and a bit stromy day, my brother returned home after offering prayer in Masjid (mashAllah, he's very punctual) with this yellow piece of cloth. It fell down in his feet due to the blowing wind. My brother took it to home. It is actually a banner of a school in Lahore called Adabistan-e-Sofia School. The banner was quite huge and of a very good fabric. My brother folded it and kept it in the store for rainy day. Not only this, he also took off another poster of the school which was pasted on our front wall. Some Quranic Ayas were printed on it. He cut it off and pasted it on the door of his room. Will post the pic soon.

At that time we laughed at him alot on keeping the banner for the rainy day. But on Eid, we have to admit and appreciate his anticipation and aqalmundi when my mother couldn't d find out some faded torn off bed sheet and my brother brought it out and presented to us with extreme pride. So we happily put meat on it and enjoyed the distribution. Under each boti, there lied attractive packages which Adabistan-e-Sofiais was offering for toddlers. I read many of them to my father. So the distribution ceremony finished in fun.

Moral of the story:
Sometime tads do right things but sometime.

In the Evening, I went to the most of the relatives's homes and tasted every thing they had served. There were variety of dishes, yummyyy....At night, my stomach refused to accept even a sip of water.

Next day was dedicated to the kitchen. I made biriyani and booti kabab.

The boti kabab are different from the simple shami kabab which are made of qeema. The boti kabab are made of small pieces of meat, not qeema. They are difficult to handle. I made them for the first time and thank God they turned out very tasty. Papa liked them most. Biriyani was also appreciated by everyone but I personally didn’t like it this time.See the pic, I terribly mixed them and broke the rice evetually :( . I always have this problem in the end. Any suggestion?

On Third day of Eid, I tried Hunter Beef. on my dear doctor saab's farmaiysh with little variation. hmm...not little recipi kafi change ki thi.

Of course it's not the real pic

One day before, I marinated the beef steak in yogurt with all the spcies and kept it in fridge. Then next day, put it on the stove without water and forgot it till the evening. When steak got tender, I sent it to the near by shop for grilling. Oh God, it was so yummy. Cant tell you in words. My bro was quite happy on the attempt and I think it was for the first time. he always finds mistakes in my dishes :x

At night of the third day, I found some time for myself and applied the henna on my hand. I wanted to apply this design:

but ended up with this:

And I always do that. Com'on I dont exactly know how to hold the cone of the menhdi, so dont accept me to make any complicated design. Now you will ask, why this sqaure? Read below!

Story behind the Square of Menhdi:

Before each eid, I always spend hours in finding good looking design and always, always end up with tikky design. So on last Eid, I made this one:

See how much beautiful it is looking. I always love it. But my phupu gave a very hard time on last eid. She snubbed me alot by saying "why do you always apply this design of prostitutes'?". And my heart broke in little pieces. matlab some henna designs are now attributed for those poor gals. See how much rude and racist she is. I dont like her. She always comes up with such baseles objections.
That's why I tried the square design this time. But shockingly, she didn't approve it too. hai koi baat...khair who cares.
Moral: You cannot oblige the world, especially women called phupho.

And my eid dress it was npt that bad. It was a present from my sis who got this embroidery from Multan. Although I didn't like the color but embroidry was awesome.

So that was all from my side. Do share with me how you did spend your eid days.

Advices on sale!

2009-11-27T16:35:00.000+05:00

Some give really interesting and funny suggestions for convincing my father. And I literally enjoy all even in such a stress.

A friend: Agar abba nai mantay tu kalaiyan (writs) kaat lay!!
Me: Kis ki? :D

****************

Another: Run away from home. I will arrange every thing.
Me: The boy too naa with whom I will elope :P . It would be embarrassing when people come to know that I would have to run away all alone. So arrange a cupid (imagining the horse on the back of my hero.... errr....(damn my love for horses)... my hero on the back of the horse and i behind him (not horse) holding him with one of my hands and holding a trunk with the other....all jewelry in it....and running away..... taka tuk taka tuk....to the US for study....how romantic)

*****************

Nani: Marry any cyber friend in US.

Me: I wonder if you would accept me doing a gay marriage because all my cyber friends in US are females :P

Nani: dafa durrr!!!

******************

2009-11-26T17:02:00.001+05:00

Things are getting hell out of my hands. I don’t exactly know what’s going on. The few people who are on stage playing their roles now are an uncle (family friend) and my auntie’s family living in US. And yes the superman, my one and only brother-in-law has also jumped onto the stage. I just adore him and I am already impressed by his ability to convince others and to find out way even out of hell. Oh sorry I forgot to tell those who still do not know that I got admission in an American university but my dear father loves me a lot (I also do) and does not agree to send me abroad. Yes yes I am independent lady working from last four years but still my father makes all of decisions about my life and me and I happily follow them like an obedient blind daughter. I have already decided and announced that I WILL not avail the scholarship if my father does not give me permission khushi khushi. And it is final.

But my brother, who is still a silent supporter and my brother-in-law want me to get lot :P and avail the opportunity by hook or by crook. I am not sure what they are doing but I can notice the loooong phone calls for my father. I know papa is in much trouble. He was almost finalizing my proposal and all this have happened. But I am dead sure whatever decision he would make, it will be good for me inshAllah and I will accept it by heart.

Hey!! Whats up? :)

2009-11-24T21:19:00.002+05:00

Instead of thinking and pondering, I decided to visit some blogs. So today i have visited more than 20 blogs. God! but it was awesome. reading about different type of people, their way of explaining things, their problems, their suggestions, i literally enjoyed every thing. So when you have nothing to do, try peeping others' blogs. You ll definitely not only enjoy but would learn something new. Such as I learn today "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift."

I was thinking of writing some very interesting post today. But then I thought....did I ever write such post? So why this time? hehe

P.S. It's too chillin here. My feet are feeling nothing. so signing off off :)

I am at war.

2009-11-23T10:32:00.001+05:00

Now-a-days, I start my each day saying to myself; "I will live and enjoy Today as the only day of my life. I will not be anxious about tomorrow. I will not even think of it Today. The woes and worries are expected to come tomorrow, so I will handle them when they really come. No worry for Today".

I make this promise to myself each morning. But when the day passes slowly and gradually, I start losing control on myself. I try hard, really hard not to think much. I lose my focus, I lose my attention, I lose my concentration, I lose every thing. And finally I accpet defeat in the hands of my wandering thoughts. Eah day, I go to the bed with bruised thoughts and emotions which result in nightmares.God! I have the dreadiest nightmares these days.

Hence, the most difficult war is the war which you fight with yourself. And this fight becomes more difficult when you know that you will be the loser whether you win or lose it. I am really tired of hiding my feelings and keeping the crappy smile on my face showing 'I am fine'.

P.S. I wasn't absent from my blog....errr....but yea I was absent mentally.

Damn!!

2009-11-13T14:23:00.000+05:00

Sometimes in your life, you literally want scissors to cutt off every thing for finding an end!!

What to do after you break up with someone - A wise advice :P

2009-11-12T14:26:00.001+05:00

She came to me and said with teary eyes:

She: You know I broke up with him.
I: What? really?
She: yes. it's true (she started crying)
I: tchtch... really sad...(I can very much imagine what could have happened, so didn't ask the boring detail)
She: He broke my heart. He didn't deserve my love (are you sure you were in love with him?)
I: yea....he didn't...(thinking...)
She: you were right. we should not trust any man. They all are same.
I: yea....(oh sometimes I say smart things :D)
She: I have lost every thing, every thing....(shedding tears)
I: hmmm.....(thinking some thing else)
She: tell me please what should I do now?
I: err...hmm.....actually.....you ll dislike what I want you to do...so leave it!
She: no no please tell me. I really dont know how to cater all this. please!
I: Ask him to return Burberry which you had presented him last time on his birthday.

hahaha........
I really enjoyed reading this and also check the Break up Tips if you are hell with someone :)

I am a bad sister :|

2009-11-07T13:40:00.000+05:00

Yes I am. Curse me please. I deserve it. You should be grateful to Allah Ta'ala that I am not your sister. I am such bad, bad, a badest sister in fact. I did it again!

Yesterday was the birthday of my only brother and I forgot it. Can you believe I forgot to wish him? I didn't remember it the whole day. When I returned home in the evening, I heard mama asking him to give us a b'day treat. :O duh duh I wish I could slap myself at that time.

He always remembered my birthday, always. He is used to wish me at 12 at night and I....ahhhh...I am really a fitay munh sister.

When I wished him he just said 'ab yaad aiya hai' :( . bad sis

just two three days before, i was thinking to put a reminder on my cell phone regarding his birthday but I forgot it again.

I am sorry bro. You know your sis has a lousy memory. Forgive and Happy birthday :)

Visit to ISB

2009-11-06T13:53:00.020+05:00

So yesterday I made a short visit to Islamabad. It was the first time that my father allowed me to go with one of my friends. It was really a fun. We talked so much during the journey that we got literally exhauted. LOL I think all passengers might have known every thing about both of us.

We reached ISB at 10 am. We had enough time as the meeting was at 12 pm. We visited a book shop and a market. The stone jewelery was remarkable especially the one blue stone necklace. I loved it but had to leave it thinking that no one can see it under my head scarf :( but it was good. The shopkeeper told that some bracelets would be available in few days in the same stone. I would surely buy them next time :). damn what was the name of stone? forgot that.

And it remained in my mind whole day that Pinky lives here but had no contact of her and it was also not the pre-planned visit. But I wanted to meet her once because I would have to take the appointment to meet her after her CSS exams inshAllah !!

The meeting was good. The director who was supposed to meet us did not come but sent the promise that he would see us in the next meeting. Damn! I hate him. Two of the girls pointed out that I have put on weight. budtameezein!! dil toot gaya mera tu. I already knew that....why to point it out?

One of the girls was from Peshawar. It was the first time I met a Peshawari gal (although I dislike few of men from Peshawar :P ). She was excited to meet Lahori gal. We talked alot during and after the meeting. She was a really nice girl, I must say. And I think she has the same feelings about me as I have been received two calls from her since morning :) . People do get a good impression of me but some cannot realize what a great person I am :D

Another girl was looking stunning with her glowing and fair skin. She was completely changed what she was three months back. We insisted her alot to tell us what type of skin treatment she was getting but she didn't disclose. Meesni !! But she is not that bad as she told me that I look very innocent and that I am by nature very simple and innocent :) hehe shukriya

The meeting was over in just two hours and they had no plan to offer us lunch :( . Mice had a marathon in my tummy. So we decided to go to KFC, the only restuarant i saw nearby. But one of the girls who lives in Pindi was kind enough that she offered us lunch.hehe But she hates the KFC calling their food unhygienic :O . She took us to the Super Market Sector F and forcefully ordered the paratha roll at Mr. Food. I was bit hesitant to take tha paratha but she convinced me as I convinced myself daily 'aik parathay sey kiya hoga' but they were quite yummy. I must say!!

Then she took us to her university, the International Islamic University where she is a lecturer. She told us the detail about the recent bomb blast there which TV cahnnels were not allowed to disclose. She was in the university at that time. I would post in detail about it. knowing the detail and the trauma students are going through made me very sad and depressed. The day which was started cheerfully made all sad.

We took the bus and returned Lahore. I slept most of the time, was so tired. Papa was there to receive me.

Yesterday I have realized how much I am used to miss my Lahore where ever I go. Apparently there is no comparison of Lahore and Islamabad. Isloo is planned city with wide and clean roads and greenery every where. With gandi mandi roads, traffic jams and pollution, I still love Lahore. Oh God I missed it alot in these few hours. Lahore! you rock :)

wow it's a suprise that Gori Wife has also posted about Lahore :)

God I added things in this post ten times...sorry

Kaun banay ga mera Pati ? :D

2009-11-02T11:31:00.005+05:00

My rishta drama has been started again. Wesay I wonder it ever stopped. Yes it’s really a drama, at least it seems to me. See how this drama goes on:

My father and I were returning from the dentist and I was regretting on the news that my four teeth needed treatment.

Papa: So what you have decided?

Me: I would have to have treatment or I would lose them otherwise.

Papa: No actually…..hmm….I was asking about that guy.

Me: Ooo….em still thinking not decided yet.

Papa: yes yes beta take your time. Be sure that he is the best guy I have ever met. It doesn’t matter if he did only graduation. He is running his business successfully. You should see things in all aspects.

Damn I think the number of graduates has been increased due to recession. These economic crises would take my life away.Why dont they continue their studies if they dont get the jobs?

Me: yeah I am trying to see all the aspects.

Papa: beta your mother is an emotional woman. She thinks through her heart not through her brain. But you are sensible girl (Am I? But you always forget this in other matters). Try to understand what I want you to.

Me: gee gee

Papa: He has no objection on your job. You can continue it even after the marriage. In this way you would be saved from the household work. (hehe incentive) and they live just 5 minutes’ drive from us and he is such ………blah blah….(it’s always difficult to listen others’ praises)

Me: Just gimme some time. I’ll tell you soon.

Papa: sure but try to think without your mother’s influence………..(other lines were all about mom’s emotionality).

I didn’t know how mom came to know that father had discussed some thing with me. She remained around me and finally got the chance to talk:

Mama: My girl is the most well-mannered girl in the family and I know how you manage everything successfully. I always wanted to have a same boy for you (she knows I like appreciation but she does it rarely)

Me: haha acha

Mama: But I don’t know what’s in your father‘s mind. He wants you to be around. I always disagree with him in this. In these days, sons leave parents alone, betiyan to phir parai hoti hein qareeb hoon ya dur (and tip tip started, her tears are used to come out easily on this subject).

Me: oho don’t start crying plz. I can understand what’s your point of view.

Mama: beta if you have understood, then refuse your papa’s suggested guy. I don’t like him (the guy not papa). He’s such a dumb guy. And he is the eldest boy of the family, responsible of everything and you know the eldest bahu is expected to be same. Why putting your head in this khach khach?

Me: I will think about it.

Mama: Don’t think about him. I think the boy which I have finalized is suitable for you. Start thinking about him. He is the only son of his family. Parents are quite old. What more do you need?

Me: haw haiye mama don’t say like this. His parents are really sweet.

Mama: that’s it. I was telling your father that you like them most.

Me: ohoo I didn’t say like this.

Mama: OK don’t like them but you would have to say ‘No’ to your father’s suggested guy. Understand?

Me: mai? lekin…..wo tu……aisay kesay….papa would be annoyed.

Mama: He will as usual but he’ll be fine after some time. And you know your sister and brother did not like that guy too and they liked the boy which I have suggested.

Me: I am not saying anything to anyone. You both decide one and inform me.

I am just sick of all this. My mother and father never agreed on one guy. Both have different preferences and both force me to choose their suggested guy. And each time this result in a severe fight with the allegation that their children do not listen them. Each time my shoulder is used for shooting (ye shooting firing wala hai film wala nai).

But this time, I want it to end in the way I want to be. yes. I have planned a little conspiracy haha *evil laugh*. Would disclose it soon….

Grieved

2009-10-29T13:46:00.001+06:00

106....isn't a big number? IT'S INDEED. I am deeply deeply grived by yesterday's suicide attack. My God!! we have lost so many precious lives of our kids, men and women. Regrets, sorrows, mourns, what have I been left with?

Today morning when i was coming towards office, a traffic warden blocked the road suddenly with a barrier and forced everyone to go through other ways. I told him that my office was just at 5 minute's drive but he rudely responded "go on your foot". I had to march towards my office. I felt like some thing was going to happen. Roads were completely deserted. I cried the whole way. How much my country would have to face now? My country is bleeding. Is there any limit to all this?

I am used to console my by these lines:

Zulm phir zulm hai, badhta hai to mit jaata hai
Khoon phir khoon hai, tapkega to jam jaayega

Tyranny is but tyranny; when it grows, it is vanquished
Blood however is blood; if it spills, it will congeal

Tag: 25 Random Things

2009-10-27T13:10:00.004+06:00

I always manage to skip tags but I am going to do this time just because of you PD !! :)

Rules:
Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you.

-Sleeping is my favourite sport. It keeps me fresh and active like any other sport :D . I have a remarkable record of sleeping for 15 hrs consecutively.
-I hate those who smile without any reason. hn khush mizaaj
-I love to ring doorbells of others whenever i get any chance. Once I pushed the fire Alarm in my offiice :D . sshhh no one knows about it :P
-On last weekend, I visited my beautician after one and a half year.
-I disappointedly realized that I am also an idealistic when an ajeeb o ghareeb person proposed me.
-I take sometime in saying 'thanks' and 'sorry' (yea em a bad girl)
-I wonder listening some people saying that they do not like ice cream and mangoes :0 haw haiyeee!!
-There was a time when I was famous in my family and friends because of my blushing cheeks and long-healthy hair. All have gone. The cheeks turned yellowish and hair are getting thin. But Alhamdulillah I had enjoyed them once and they still are more than fine :P
-I want to try living alone once in my life. I have just realized that I enjoy more with myself than with anyone else
-My handwriting and drawing are very poor. That is the reason I do terrible make-up.
-I am impatiently waiting for my 30s.
-I hardly remember the names of movies, celebrities and books and even the lyrics of songs.
-Some people think that I am a present minded person due to my spotaneous talk. But in reality I sit at one place and my mind wonders somewhere else.
-I am expert in making roti and all type of parathas.
-Once I went for registration in a horse riding club. I ceased the idea after meeting the couch. B@#$&. I have to burry my wish of skydiving.
-According to mom, I am a restless soul. I remain busy in doing some thing. And I find it impossible to sit in one place for three hours for watching a mere film. There might be two or three films which I have watched from the start to the end.
-It's easy for me to cling to one thing and then leave it forever due to any insipinsi reason. Same rule applies for the persons also :P .
-Kids are the only charm in marriage for me.
-There are few dresses which I designed by myself but they are still lying untouched. yea they turned out to be very bad. By the way when is your b'day? :D
-For the long long time, I had been the neglected child at home. The problems in my life started when I was dragged to limelight.
-Since the disastrous Earthquake, I feel all time like every thing around me is going to be jolted to death.
-I think ten times before spending money. I am not crazy for more and more cloths, jewellery, shoes, bags, blah blah.
-For many years of my life, i waited for people to wish on my b'day but it caused 'invited pain'. Now I call people and tell them 'hey it's my birthday'. It literally feels good :)
-Once I had a great love for tennis and basketball. I used to dream of becoming great player. I left tennis when my wrist cricked and basketball when I fainted in the court due to the hit of ball on my head. All dreams chikna choor....
-I feel butterflies when I see Patrick Dempsey as Dr. McDreamy :P hehe

I tag Postman, a fan and Leena. (so what if Leena has already done it :| )

Show me your tests first!!

2009-10-23T10:43:00.001+06:00

So in all this wilderness, we still have some signs of life.

"The Sindh Assembly Wednesday unanimously adopted a bill whereby the government of Sindh was recommended to make AIDS and hepatitis tests mandatory for every one before marriage".

Dr. Yasmeen Rashid and all those who have struggled for it and are still striving hard to create awareness in masses, deserve appreciation. I know no one would first bother to have tests before marriage but still it's a first drop. At least people would start thinking about it and then hesitate to get married without tests.

We dont have facilities of these tests even in general hospitals. But i remember we did not have labs for hapatitis tests when it first started spreading widely. Now almost all labs offer hap test facility. A comprehensive national plan is needed further to overcome this problem too.

I hope National Assembly would also approved it and make it a legislation. Not only terrorism, we need to fight against all odds which bring life at stake.

And sometimes there's no solid reason...

2009-10-17T11:32:00.003+06:00

:D :D

I can be a danger for my boss :P

2009-10-17T11:24:00.001+06:00

Tell you some thing....

shsshhhhhh......

first promise me you wont share it with anyone...

no no it's a secret. you ve to gimme a promise first...an honest one.......

i haven't told it anyone. promise?

okhayie. but plz keep in mind that my boss' life is on stake. This secret should never be disclosed. He may die of heart attack if he ever know what i have done with him. If this secret discloses, you ll be the murderer of my boss. Understand?

promise naa? okay okay fine. dont be annoyed....

Actually I needed a very detailed recommendation from my Boss immediately. I told him and briefed him what aspects the letter should cover. As usual, he showed me a boring art film with his free ki smile that his recommended students always get selected and blah blah blah. I seriously didn't hear with attention what speech he made. I offered him my services for drafting the letter but he refused it at once (egoist). khair he assured me that he ll provide me the letter yesterday. That yesterday couldn't come. He kept on excusing this and that. Once he told that he had prepared it but forgot at home. He asked me to txt him at night for reminding him as the letter was in his laptop at home. I did. And I was quite sure that he would definitely bring it next day.

Next day, i went to his office and asked for the letter. Again free ki looong smile (I think his whole batisi comes out when he smiles) and said 'oh dont worry I write it now. It would take few minutes'. means he was lying the whole week. damn......I hated him that time but i didn't say any thing. He started writing the letter and I starting reading the newspaper. Against my own laid rules, I had to sit there for all that time because i knew he would start doing any thing else if i ll leave. People were coming in and out giving me strange looks. I didn't bother. I needed the letter badly. I kept on telling him what things they have demanded to be mentioned in the letter. And he also told me that he was leaving for ISB today for few days. Khair he wrote the letter, signed it and handed me over. I left his office graciously.

When I read that letter later, oh God ...........bossy should be thankful to Allah that he was not there werna pata nai mai kiya kar leti. It was such a dumb recommendation letter and I wondered how his students and employees got the admission.

My way to home, i kept on thinking the ways to handle the situation now because i didn'te have a single day to delay it.And I got the string.

Next day, I wrote a letter by myself, the excellent one, scanned the signature of boss, pasted it on the letter and took the printout on letterhead. Then scanned the letter and sent it to the concerned people. Simple! :) :D :P

It remained simple until i remembered that they had contacted my teacher once whose letter of recommendation was also in my file. They'll definitely contact him. It would not be a problem because I know boss ll handle em well akhir he is earning for his boring talks. But the problem may arise if they email him with the attachment of the my prepared letter. But not to worry. I ll take his signature on this letter also. he wont have any objection.

But I was thinking what the reaction of my Bos if he ever knows what i have done. haha ......ohoo that's not big deal. The letter is about ME. I didn't misuse his signature. For the first time his sign has been used for a good purpose and of course:

Just in

2009-10-15T11:34:00.000+06:00

We were busy in after meeting discussion few minutes ago when ammi called me. She was crying bitterly and asking me to return home. Few gunmen opened fired on FIA building which is near my office. There was a suicide attack on the same building in May this year as well. Two attacks by the terrorists are also reported in police stations today. God it has started again. Few months were passed in peace but they are strengheting again. An operation in Waziristan has been accounced by the Army. I wonder if we get rid of these suicide bombers this time. Or is this the right way to save our country from terrorists? We have ourselves created many of them somewhere. Dont know how much lives of our soldiers and common people will be needed this time. They are getting hostile. See the intensity of their bomb blasts. Casualities in such attacks are more what they were before the Swat operation.

Khair we are now getting used to all this or we dont have any other option except accepting this harsh reality and move on. They think they would paralyse the life with such coward actions but they couldn't indeed. See! I am sitting in my office doing the routine work and listening the sirens of ambulances from outside. I can enjoy my breaths at this time, dont know i may have been included in casualities next time. Allah reham rakay bas

What's the logic?

2009-10-14T10:49:00.001+06:00

Whenever I expect less, I get more and whenever I expect more, I get lesser.

I have issues :|

2009-10-13T11:59:00.001+06:00

I am suck of my telephone extension at office. The stupid calls drive me nuts. And check the information which is asked usually:

Me: hello

Tel: Hi this is …... How are you? (speaks so cheerfully as I was waiting him for ages)

Me: Fine. Yes?

Tel: What is the extension of Mr/Ms XYZ.

Me: I don’t know. Ask the exchange.

Tring tring….

Me: Yes?

Tel: Hi……how are you doing?

Me: good. Yes?

Tel: I need to talk to Mr. XYZ.

Me: This is MY number not his.

Tel: Then connect my line to his

Me: I don’t know how to connect (I know it but I wont do it for you b@$%&). Ask the telephone operators.

Tring tring:

Me: hello

Tel: oh I think I have dialed a wrong number.

Me: yes you did.

Tel: how are you?

Me: *(you know you are the cheapest person on earth?)*

Tring tring:

Me: hello

Tel: isn’t it Mr. XYZ?

Me: Do I sound like him?

Tring tring:

Tel: What is the extension number of XYZ?

Me: I don’t know

Tel: how is it possible? He sits next to you?

Me: (I wish I can kick you from the top floor) why don’t you ask the exchange? They are here for this purpose.

Tel: but you should know the telephone extensions of at least your department.

Me: Yes I should learn by heart the 35 extensions of everyone. That’s my fault. I ll be careful next time.

Tring tring

Tel: Kindly tell me Mr…… is on the floor. Or Mr……..is on his seat? (hadd ho gai)

This is the one of ways people use to tease female colleagues. And they think that we are such dumb and dont understand what’s the meaning of all this. One day I got more then ten such calls. On eleventh call, you can understand how much I might have been irritated:

Me: Hello (the most irritant sound I could utter)

Tel: Oh….who are you?

Me: Whom do you want to talk to?

Tel: I need to talk to XYZ but who are you?

Me: Sorry. this is not his number.

Tel: then?

Me: ohoo press the Zero and ask them about his number. I am not supposed to learn all extension numbers here.

Tel: What is your name?

Me: (I see you are one of the eve teasers) Listen Mr. I am extremely busy and I have told you that I don’t know your required extension number. So please contact the tel operator and save yours and mine time. Thank you. (takkkkhh fone band)

At that time, I just wished to bang the telephone.

The telephone rang again after few minutes:

He: So you are ………….. (he took my name this time)

Me: So? (flatly)

He: beta I am Vice President.

Me: geeeee….. (duh duh …electric shock)

He: What happened to you beta? I thought you are the most well-mannered girl in the whole org. I wasn’t expecting it from you.

Me: Sir……..actually…….wo tu………mai tu…….nai nai……asal mai……and so on

I got so confused at that time but I tried to explain him what the actual situation was. He listened me carefully and advised me to be cautious next time. Ahhh………I had no idea that the VP had such noble thoughts about me. But what could happen now? I have ruined it all with my own hands, I mean voice….damn me!!!

P.S. Mr. XYZ who is responsible for all this should be fired at once.

My new Project and my concerns over it

2009-10-12T16:39:00.000+06:00

Last year, I was assigned a project which was completed successfully within its time frame. We usally intiate projects and hand them over to the stakeholders. Same happened in this case. Now the project came back to me for the further work. The project is quite huge in nature and it is expected to be legalized by the Govt in few weeks.

It's not that I am incapable of handling it (dont forget that I just got promoted due to my remarkable services :) and if someone still thinks so, he/she' ll be out from the treat), actually my concern is over the financial matters of the Project. Once it legalizes, it would start generating revenues. I usually do projects which some times involves in revenues of of few lacs but they lie within the boundary of my Org where I know everyone (accounts or all that) and I know how to keep an eye on the malpractices and how to handle them. But the current project will be kind of autonomous. It would have its own small accounts section.

At that time, I am being forced to be its Projec Manager. I have done its spadework, so no one is ready to take it (me either). Actually some of its members are completely unknown for me and it would be difficult to handle them because all are executives from reknowned companies. They would surely influence all the matters of the project. I want to take this project but the expected revenues of millions of $ may attract everyone to attack upon. Many SOPs are quite vague and members want them as it is and you can better understand why. I have tried to do my job so far with complete probity keeping record of each penny Alhamdulillah. I can route things correctly to my extent but what about the other matters which lie under me but will be influenced by others.

My director says authority brings responsibility and I should accept it wholehearted. I am really confused. I want to stay away from such high revenue generating projects which are an easy prey of corruption. As i have not much experience in handling high revenue related projects, I have a feeling that people will do things under my nose and I ll not be able to even understand them. I can understand the accounts matters but the malpractices linked to these are wide and cannot be caught by an innocent person like me :( . I feel that they are forcing me to take the complete responsibility of this project because they know that I am mot much experienced in such matters.

Oh God! i am really confused. I could not even make any sense of what I have written. crap better to shut up!!

Guys do advise me if you understand what my situation is :(

The unexpected happiness

2009-10-07T12:37:00.001+06:00

I was seriously not expecting it all but Allah has been vey kind to me, I must say. Thank you Allah Ta'ala gee, thank you very much. I know You read my blog regularly.

Yesterday morning when I just reached my cabin, director called me up and congratulated me for getting promoted to 'Deputy Director'. I was told that I was the most derserving candidate and my case was very strong. I also got one increment.

I dont understand how to react. A strange kind of indifferent feeling is taking me over. I think I am still in shock. I am trying to make myself realize that it has happened finally. When I joined this organization, I thought, only thought sometime that I should leave this job after at least becoming Deput Director. May be the time for leaving this job has arrived. Should I start preparing the farewell speech? :)

And one interesting thing, one of my auntie (mom's cousin) called me from London just to congratulate me. Another shock. She didn't call me on becoming Assistant Director. She showed her full time affection and that the little me with shining eyes was standing in front of her eyes. I am indebted to her unexpected love. Her son also talked to me and asked my permission to add me on Facebook.....hahah such a sweet boy :D. He was feeling very shy while talking to me and auntie was yelling from the back "beta tumhari khala hai" kamal hai she forgot after reaching London that my mother is her cousin, not me.

Apology

2009-10-06T14:17:00.000+06:00

First of all, I am really very sorry for this complete change but it was all accidental. I was updating my pathetic blog yesterday when all data was crashed, even some info in profile.

The reason of updating the blog was mainly the monotony which was prevailing around and :

So decided to update things. But I dont know what had happened during the updating process as most of the data was completely collapsed. I tried alot to retrived my lables, gadgets, links and all other data but all in vain. I spent half of my night on it :( .

Last night, I even thought of deleting this blog in disappointment but I am not a quitter :) . So as an enthusiastic fighter, I jumped into the battle field again (Gladiator, my fav). Then I searched out this template and uploaded it with a lil bit change (sorry to the designer. but you know whoever you are i love you for creating such a cool and soothing template).

And to the guys whose blogs are put on this blog, I ve to google your blogs literally because some of the comments were also crashed :( . See my sincere affection and love for all of you :)

So finally the new template with the new user name (which was also accidental). I hope this template would not betray me and would stay with me for some time (change is permanent) and I am going to be a regular blogger from now.

So happy blogging :)

Ramzan Weirdoes

2009-09-16T11:39:00.006+06:00

Last evening while breaking the fast, I as usual read the dua of breaking fast. I was about to put a date in my mouth when I felt some thing wrong. My hand stopped at the distance. While focusing my eyes on the date, I couldn’t concentrate on the dua. I was not reading it correctly. I tried again. This time I tried to focus on each word. Oh what I was saying? It wasn’t the prayer of breaking fast. What I was praying for?

The actual prayer of breaking the fast is:

And I was saying:

‘O Allaah, I take refuge with you from all evil and evil-doers.’

This is the dua, which is said before entering the bathroom. I mixed both duas due to the same starting words. I am a big time stupid; I have realized it at once. I remained cursing myself on how blindly I just say prayers without concentrating on words.

But what can I do? We enter bathroom more than once in a day and we say Aftar prayer just once in a day. There is a strong probability of mixing both duas due to the similarity of starting words. To err is ….you what. Oh I don’t know how many fasts I have opened with this prayer. I am sure Allah have taken it correctly.

Muhammad Tariq

Who is Muhammad Tariq? You may not know him but people in our locality know this name very well, even haven’t seen him ever.

During Ramzan, there are used to be many social workers who volunteer themselves for the virtuous deed of waking people for the sehri. These includ dhool walas, dholki walas teen dabba walas, any other orchestra walas, molvis, beggars, etc. We are lucky enough having all of them at different times from 2:00 am to 6:00 am. I must admit how much punctual and hard working they are, even having such odd timings. After offering this duty whole Ramzan, they are used to visit at Eid day and demand for Eidi for their social work they have done passionately the whole month. Exploiting the opportunity, some irregular and unknown (rather unheard) sehri walas also come on Eid and ask for the money of their unasked and uninvited services. We used to argue with those.

Among all these, Muhammad Tariq (he often calls himself Tariq sehri wala as well) is a prominent figure. Why? Because of his unique style. To avoid the above-mentioned situation on Eid day, he is used to say “aa gaya Muhammad Tariq Sehri wala aa gaya, uth jao sehri ki tayyari karo” and dhunn dhunnnnnn. Although the last lines are merely heard but he screams aloud on “Tariq Sehri wala”. We have learned his name by heart. If anyone dares not to hear him properly, he has a tool with him as well. The teen dabba…..uffff…….I cannot tell you how much sharp voice this teen dabba utters when Tariq bhai saab hits it mercilessly with a stick. My brother is used to sleep late at night. Once he requested him not to beat the teen dabba. The great Tariq sab welcomed the request and promised that he would avoid it from now. Next night, he was still there with his shrieking voice and the lovely teen dabba.

All in all, I must admit the intelligence of Tariq Sehri wala. He found the excellent way of leaving his unforgetful name and style on our minds. I wonder if my brother also respects him for this. And I also wonder how my brother would receive him on Eid.

Forgetfulness

It takes time for getting used to the timing of Sehri and Aftari. In the first week of Ramzan, we were eating as quickly as we could, keeping an eye on the clock. The last few minutes are always crucial. Suddenly a molvi saab of a nearby mosque screamed; “Stop stop eating and drinking. Time for sehri is over. You are not allowed to eat or drink further”. We looked each other. According to our clock, there was still some time. But with the doubt that our clock might have told the wrong time, we stopped eating consequently. The molvi saab came again on loud speaker: “I am really sorry. I was mistaken. There is still 10 minutes left for Sehri”. What the……………….

In the remaining fasts, we did not believe in any announcement of Sheri and Aftari made by this Molvi. He has lost his trust. Although I am the one who stops eating in the end with the very last announcement made by any molvi of even a far away mosque and also the one who breaks fast with the very first announcement of it.

Iftar Party: Another blessing of Ramzan

2009-09-12T10:43:00.004+06:00

Iftar parties are among the other exciting things of this month. Since my childhood, we used to count them the whole month and brag among friends. lol friends with lesser number of iftar parties are tagged unlovable, obnoxious and abhorrent because people do not invite them much to iftar parties. We still do that.

To arrange sehri and iftari are my responsibility at home. I am told that it is also a month of my cooking practice. Mother remains busy mostly in ibadah and I am supposed to look after every thing. The most heartbreaking thing is to leave the bed in the mid of night for preparing sehri regardless at what time I sleep at night. Then to wake everyone up for the sehri, another task. I used to say that I could earn more than the sehri dhol wala earns for waking up people with his terrible dhol beats which caused to harass people than waking them up.

To meet everyone’s choices at iftari is another task. Some one wants to have baigan pakoras. Others argue for chicken rolls and samosa. Fruit chaat is must thing but dahi bhallay are also highly demanded. Some one fights for milk shake, others for lassi. May Allah give me ajar but honestly speaking I feel sometimes that I am wasting my time. The time, which I spend in making all these luxurious dishes (I must say), can be spent in ibadahs. Seriously, everyone remains busy in his or her prayers and I am the only crap found in kitchen. Many times, I declared that simple iftari would be served but each time have to face severe protests. I iftared more than half of my rozas in kitchen as everyone needs garam garam crispy pakoras at iftari.

In all this barbarism, the invitations for iftari happen to be a ray of light in my dark kitchen.

There is no pleasure than to sit on the chair and enjoy the ifari stuff, watching other people running from kitchen to dining table for putting variety of dishes on the table.

There are many remarkable things about these iftar parties or dinners:

You can save your food stock for more days to come.
You can enjoy variety of dishes at a time without doing any thing hehe.
Your stoves can have some rest for few days which can increase their life span.
You can enjoy a different taste if you are fed with your home’s typical taste.
There is a possibility of having any new dish which you try for the very first time in your life and can adhere it forever if it tastes good. So a chance of some new experiments.
You can have a look on new fashion around.
You can get an idea of cousins’ Eid dresses.
You can see who is getting and losing weight in Ramzan.
You can listen the news bulletin of the family and friends.
On last iftar party, date of one’s wedding was decided. So it saved the time and money of concerned parties and others.
You can have knowledge of any beauty parlor, boutique, tailor, bakery, samosa shop, fruit wala, sweet house, doodh wala, dyer, etc offering special packages for Eid.
You can have booking with your cousin or friend who is expert in applying menhdi.
You can tell others that you are coming to their homes for spending Eid with them. You can also tell them at which dish they are good enough.
You can inform others that you will not be at home on Eid.

Ramzan Feelings

2009-09-07T11:41:00.001+06:00

A strange type of feelings surrounds every thing in Ramzan. Feeling of being heard and feeling of being blessed, I think. I feel like every thing looks brighter than ever in Ramzan. Noor seems spread everywhere. I feel strange satisfaction in whatever I do in Ramzan. I am unable to explain this feeling in words. The words cannot delineate these feelings. I sense that Allah is closely observing me. Why don’t I feel this in all the months? Allah observes us all the time whatever we do, even whatever we think. I wish I feel same in all months of the year.

Puffy puff :)

2009-08-31T14:09:00.002+06:00

Every thing looks fatty through puffy eyes.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

2009-08-29T11:31:00.002+06:00

I cherished the times when we're together
I hoped that it would last forever
but now there's nothing I can do
today I’ll say my goodbye to you

Though it'll be long before I see you again
I know you will be happy there, safe and sound
and though I’ll miss you and love you that much
I know, my love for you is regardless of any bound

Time will pass, it would lessen the pain
but my feelings for you, it will stay the same

I’ll say my farewell
not to cry, I will not swear
I will miss you...

Is crying a crime?

2009-08-28T12:30:00.007+06:00

These days, I am going through an emotional trauma and the advice that I receive instead of a consolation; “Don’t cry!! cowards cry like that”. I am surrounded by those 'love ones' who keep pushing me hard not to cry as crying is a cowardly act. The question that remains glued to me why it is considered a cowardly act to cry in front of people. Why our society does not allow us even to shed mere tears? Why is crying a stigma? Is this societal notion correct?

I would strong disagree with if some one considers crying alone or in front of anyone wrong. I cry when I feel alone, sad, depressed, frustrated, angry and even extremely happy. Yes I do cry when I get excited. Even when I laugh from my heart, my eyes fill with tears. Why? Because on such moments I don’t have words to express my emotions while my tears do that for me. Isn’t it easy? What’s harm in it? People can easily understand through your tears what you are failed to tell them. Crying is catharsis for me. I feel afresh after crying like you wake up after a peaceful 8 hours’ sleep. I have been doing that (crying in sad and happy moods) since long. People are used to say about me that my tears are ever ready on my lashes and they take no time in coming down.

There are some studies and research telling how crying can be a healthy for us. Crying provides hydration and lubrication, kills bacteria, removes toxins, and elevates mood through the effect on chemicals in the brain. Emotionally, crying relieves stress, builds community with others, and releases feelings. (http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/2009/04/How-Crying-Can-Be-Healthy.aspx?p=5)

It is a widespread belief that crying is therapeutic and.... failure to cry is a danger to our health. There are three kinds of tears distinguished (from a biological perspective) according to EmotionalProcessing.Org:

Who the hell has named crying a coward act? I would like meeting that bastard who had no emotions and feelings. Even Terminator got emotional in his films and we are mere human beings. We are built of emotions and feelings.

I often hear that men do not cry. Why? Because crying is a symbol of weakness. Is it really strength not to express our feelings? I bet no one can express their feelings properly when they are emotional. But the teary eyes tell a lot more with touch of sincerity and sympathy. Experiencing the feelings after a good cry, I can also bet that men do want to cry some times. If they don’t want, they should try it once.

Crying in front of people is not an ordinary thing. It needs courage and audacity to cry. It is an outward sign of how we feel and that we can also feel for ourselves and for others. I can cry every where and in front of anyone, in the street, in the meeting room, in restaurants, in cafeteria, at home, in front of my family and friends and even in front of my colleagues. I dont feel any embarrassment in crying. I prefer to cry in presence of someone because there should be some one to wipe out your tears. Crying alone and wiping out your tears all alone is meant to increase depression and frustration.

Crying is not a crime. It’s a human act and I don’t see any harm in being human.

Cuto baby! no one can look such adorable while crying :)

Friends Forever

2009-08-28T11:50:00.007+06:00

On wednesday, Ta and umi visited me at home. It was a surprise visit. Cant explain in words how much happy I was. They did iftari with my family. Everyone at home was so excited to have them there. Even my father talked to them more than an hour. Dont know what they talked about, i was actually busy in Iftari prepation. They actually came to say good bye to my family, not me :) . So I visited them on thursday. We spent whole day together after a long time. They showed me their stuff which they were taking with them. I love their overcoats and long shoes. We talked alot, laughed alot on tiny things and also cried alot. Their moms were really upset. My mother and I consoled them alot. As both of my friends dont have brothers and they were running their homes like real daughters (I wont say like sons. Daughters can do more than a son can). So I assured them that I will be available for them for any type of help and I will inshaAllah mean it.

And finally we said good bye to each other for two years. They have taken alot of promises from me. The most important was that I would keep them as my best friends forever even having new friends and that I would join them next year. I dont know what lies in my future but I have promised them. I hope all good would happen in future. Ameen. My best wishes are with them. I hope this journey of two years would pass soon and they would rejoin us safe and sound. And their sacrifices would bear a very sweet fruit for them. Ameen.