Just a cranky brat..

These days are very tough. I am just tensed and kind of depressed without any reason. Don't understand why. This has to  happen one day. I thought I am mentally ready but I am not. not at all. The other things are just igniting it. The workload is killing me through. And then getting associated with some place and then leave it, is not a little thing. I tell you it's big time hard. Is it that easy to start a life again? But sitting at this stage, I am just being so paranoid for the uncertainties in my life. How much you want sometimes to know about the future before hand. How much you want sometimes that people understand you without saying even a single word. I know only I can understand myself. And I am the only best and close friend of myself, as always!

Economics and Porn

Scene: I was discussing about the class we just had with a bunch of class mates.

He (a white guy):  So what do you think of today's lecture?

I: Well today's lecture was pretty good. I think he has started explaining things more in detail....blah blah.........but I am still confused about the concepts of homotheticity and homogeneity. Can you explain the difference?

He: Well I dont remember their exact definition but I can tell which production function is homothetic and which is homogeneous by looking at it. It's same like I cannot present the definition of porn but I can differentiate it among the other plain stuff by watching it.

P.S. Life becomes little bit complicated with a half broken tooth :(

Oi maan!!.....that's called a perfect snow storm

So we had a zabardast storm which stayed almost one day. They said that it's the third biggest storm in the history. Winds blew at the same speed as they do in Katrina. And the snow fell from the sky like someone was throwing buckets of snow. Night was horrible. I could not sleep due to the scary voices of the wind like "ghooooonghoooo". Thank God it's passed without any major damage.

We got two days off from the school. Wo0oho0o....I couldn't stop myself from putting up this status on facebook

"I know that's mean to say someone is happy with the storm as all classes are cancelled :P" 

I slept like bear in these two days. Still feeling drowsy. I made chicken karhai today and glued to CNN all day. Everyone was hanging out for sledding. I could not go out :( because I was already fighting with cold, runny nose and some rude sneezes which have shower effects (stay away from me, i am a walking flu). But this Sunday, we have planned to go for sledding inshAllah. That may be my last snow here!

Now some pictures (steeling some of my friends' pics too):

The frozen river

My friend's father is taking time out from shoveling....lol......I like this man alot. He is a real fun!

My window at night....snow all over

I live on the 4rth floor. When I looked down from the window, I shuddered to think what if the snow would reach to my window!

I heard that electricity was gone in few places when blizzard came. I was praying that would not happen with us. I hate this dorm even with electricity. Without electricity, I WOULD definitely loathe it!

P.S. We are praying classes will be cancelled tomorrow also (fingers crossed)..."mujhay neend aa rahi hai"....addicted :P 

My First blogger meetup

Finally, a fan and I managed to meet up for the first time. I stopped by Chicago while returning from Michigan. She also had arrived from NJ in the after noon that day. Although I was and am still on vacations (hehe still few days), but these were her busy days as her school had just started. Anyhow, I spent a night and almost a day with her. She is such a nice and lovely girl. I literally enjoyed our discussions on life, study, marriage, careers, family, politics, etc. She made yummy dinner for me. I really appreciate how she managed to cook  and pick me up from the station in that short time. We went for movie as a fan was volunteering for some film club. She showed me her school and we took few pictures. After that we went for a long walk and had chocolate cones in that freezing cold. It was fun.

Next day, another friend of mine joined us there. We hanged out together and had fun. Went to the Shedd Aquarium, but could not make to the Art gallery this time too. I hope next time we should straight go to it first.

On our returned, we missed our bus. it left just in front of us and they did not stop it even my friend knocked the door. They said door was closed and would now be opened on its destination.  Damn! I missed Niazi coach here. We had to buy a new ticket and wait for the next bus. I never ever missed any of my bus, plane or train, but now I ve been deprived of using this dialogue from so on.

All in all it was really a good trip (minus the last thingy). I got to meet a fan which was the main purpose of this visit. Thanks alot a fan for your hospitality and love. I am looking forward to your visit at our place!

P.S. I am looking forward to meet my other blogger friends :)

Teary!!

I ve been wearing this jeans since long which I bought from DC but I dont know how I couldn't notice this before:

Made in Pakistan

For good 30 minutes, I sat on the bed with this jeans in my hands and literally cried. Pakistan, my country, my love, what are these crazy nuts doing with it? I am so frustrated.....I need to come back really soon with a potion in my hand :-X

Snow, coffee and finals......an awful combination, I must say!!!

Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas and New Year Celebrations

These are the three big events in US. Thanksgiving and Black Friday have just been passed and celebrations for Christmas and New Year have just been started. I were and I am so excited for all these and trying to enjoy the each bit of it, though busy.

We were invited for the thanksgiving dinner by one of our friends' family. It was all fun. The family was originally Canada, so gotta chance to meet a Canadian family also. Although they used to celebrate their thanksgiving on different date according to their tradition but they arranged that dinner for us.

My friend is married and have two boys. One is four and the other one is 2. Both are literally cute and extremely naughty, but very mannered and friendly. My two other friends were also invited for the dinner. They made alot of food. The main dish was of course turkey which seemed good. All other dishes were full of cheese and cream. I was so hungry and those dishes were two heavy for me to eat more than three to four spoons. My friend's mother was so kind and she gave a surprise in form of presenting a desi dish of cauliflower (gobhi). It tasted very nice. At the end, yummy pumpkin pie was served.

Gobhi, Little bit oily, okay very oily, but tasted good :P

They called it Jammie's Murphy, simply the mashed potatoes with cheese and few other things. 

Fruit Salad which I made. Looks more than a fruit chaat without chaat masala :D. For the first time, I tried kiwis, yummyyyyyy :)

There was another dish of mashed turnips that I did not dare to taste. But I have realized one thing that they like most of the things in mashed form. Isn't it strange?

We talked alot, played alot with boys and took alot of pictures. My friend's husband was determined to teach me the American Football. Mind you! Soccer and American football are two different games. I learnt little bit but I remained convinced that cricket is the most interesting game than these ones. Auntie gee asked me too many questions because I were the only one among three of us who was ready to talk about Pakistani politics. So she asked me almost everything, from fall of Dhaka to Indian occupation of Kashmir, from 9/11 to war against terrorism, from our water disputes with India to border issues, from our villages to big cities, from earthquake to flood, from arranged marriages to love marriages, she brought the map and asked where my city was located. She wanted to ask more but her daughter had to interrupt us and divert our attention to the preparation of dinner. Thanks dear :)

Uncle gee was the only person who was properly dressed up. He was wearing the very formal shoes I had ever seen wearing anyone at home. At my stares (yes I become rude sometimes), he had to explained that it was his hobby to dress up all the time which he blamed to the Britain. Remember! Canada was also a British Colony? Then we laughed alot on the Britishers' hobby of colonial extension :D

Khair the day ended with the promise that we would also give them a chance to have our Pakistani food. And now that day is just near. They again invited us for Christmas dinner and wanted us to bring some Pakistani dishes. I am again excited to try their Christmas special dishes and praying that they would not be that heavy this time. We are told that boys are impatiently waiting for us with the beautiful Christmas trees they have decorated at the home.

Oh I forgot one thing, we also went for shopping at night. Come on! it was Black Friday night. Oh God it was all crazy. US has biggest sales in the year on Black Friday. Despite of coldest and chilling weather, there were hundreds of people in the malls, literally running from one to another shop to buy whatever they got. There were long queues in fronts of almost all stores. We stood for an hour in front of Coach but spent just 3 minutes when we got entered. It was so expensive even with sale. I bought few things, not much but I really enjoyed  the whole festive atmosphere. I did not see such eagerness here before.

P.S. Yes I do have finals before Christmas :(

Do carry a affidavit form about your pregnancy if you are travelling to US.

Few days back, I fell badly on ground backwards. My head, neck, backbone and feet hit the ground like hell. I don't remember what was happening around. What I remember was my terrible screams, my friends' crying, their dragging me to the door, the chilling wind, shivering and then all blackout. Then someone called my name at least ten times, shuddered me at least 20 times and threw a sharp light into my eyes with "Hey! you are in paramedics' safe hands. See in the middle of my both eyes". They were doing something with me which I don't remember now but they didn't let me sleep. I think they were trying to fix me on a board. Then I was taken to the hospital where I had to spent a night. I went through different tests, Cat scan and X rays.

I felt one thing badly. They only wanted me to remain in consciousness to answer the one most imortant question; "Are you pregnant"? They asked this question to my friends many times "Is she pregnant"? "Is there any chance that she could be pregnant"? They did not trust their answer which was negative. So they used to shudder me through the places I was badly hit and ask the same question time and again. Many times, I felt that they were more interested in my pregnancy than treating my bad injuries. "Are you not pregnant"? O man what's the big deal. I am sure there would be many ladies who die without making any kid......but why are they asking this question? At some point, I thought I might be pregnant and I might forget about it. But how is it possble? nahi nahi.....I dont drink. I dont take any other intoxication. Then how could I do such a big thing in unconsciousness? They didn't believe my friends' and my words. They woke me up the 30th time and forced me to sign a form declaring that I wasn't pregnant. Gosh!!

P.S. Living in US, everyone would doubt your virginity after seeing your age. :|

Acceptance!

I don't know how many events, family functions and other interesting occasions I would miss further. I think all. I am getting used to it now. Events come and pass and leave me with pictures only. I live on pictures. Pictures of all my loved ones are always with me. For few months,  I used to keep all pictures on my bed with the childish thought that they were with me. Then, these went to my study table and now they are lying in the drawer. I ve realized that they are only pictures, nothing more than that. I don't see them much, may be once in two weeks. I don't miss anyone much. i don't talk to them much. I have accepted that I am alone here and I will have to live like this for many years to come. Isn't acceptance a relief in itself?

Being a brat....

With extreme care and affection, I burnt my hand today. Extremely warm oil spilled over at the back of my hand leaving a mysterious scar. I am pretty sure that the mark resembles with the map of some tiny country in Africa. I am still trying to find it out. But today, I missed my mom a lot. I miss everyone terribly. If this would have happened at my home, my whole family would gather around giving me different household tootkas. My mom would first bring toothpaste. Granny would suggest icing. Papa would remain insisting on using Bernol. And after good 15 minutes, my brother would appear out of his room with a pride in his eyes like he is having Aab-e-Hayat and would hand over me a chori mori old herbal ointment explaining the benefits of it. But there was nothing today. I could not do anything for it. I didn’t have any ointment at home. I even couldn’t find the pack of my bandages. I even forgot to apply toothpaste on it. I just left it in cold water and kept remembering the comfort of my home. I am literally a spoiled, rude, irresponsible and careless child of my parents. 

I am used to my mother's voice "Eat something! you did not eat much today". And my father's loving scolds "You actually enjoy teasing us by having low BP". I literally used to enjoy it. But there is no fun here. No drama at all. There is no one to pamper you here. I do not eat until my intestines beg me to put something in them. My stomach makes the loudest noises in the class out of everyone. 

My kitchen is just three steps away. But they are three miles for me. Oh God!! to go there and make something has become the world's hardest thing, harder than running regressions, finding variances and reading stupid recommended articles. 

P.S. I found a 20` bigger tv in a running condition (not walking) in trash. Wadday log tey wadiyan wadiyan galaan :D 

Eid :)

Ramzan

Ramzan is here with all its blessings and memories. I am trying to see what I am writing but my eyes...ufff......I think they are also in flood. I am very sad and missing each and everything of my family and of my country.

I don't have words to say anything about the situation of flood in Pakistan. I have only tears to shed upon the misery and helplessness of my people. They have been continuously suffering from all types of crisis. Today, we arranged an event for fund raising at the place where I ve been interning. I remained upset the whole week because I was working on the presentation for this event. The situation is very depressing. I got shocked to know that the loss of property and people's livelihood is three times more than the Earthquake of 2005. I cannot bear the heartbreaking images of flood.

This is the only image which is responsible to make me shuddered. May Allah give us strength to pass through this difficult time.

************

This is my first Ramzan away from my family.  I never thought of this time. I never imagined how much difficult it could be. I cried alot from sehri to iftari. At iftari, the oil started jumping out of the pan when I was crying and making pakora side by side. Difficult, extremly difficult time but I ve chosen it and I ve to bear it! I keep saying to myself  'bhugto ab'

While experiencing all this, I have felt the great respect to all those girls who have been married to the person living abroad.  O my God! it's extremely difficult.  I even have the hope that I will inshAllah go back to my family. but they do not have this hope. So to all those men who have brought their wives from the other place, start respecting the sacrifice their wives have made and salute them subha shaam!!

P.S: Ramzan Mubarik! Let's pray this Ramzan sincerely for our country and try to play our roles in this calamity.

Jashn-e-Azadi of America

So the United States of America celebrated its independence on 4rth of July. The first thought that struck my mind was 'hein :O America also got freedom from someone'. It sounds silly in the current world scenario. 

Khair! we heard that there would be a huge firework near at the Washington Monument. So we planned to enjoy this chance fully. We reached there at 6:00 pm. All nearest Metro stations were closed. So we had to walk to the park in  extreme warm temperature. The whole park was overcrowded. My God! People in colorful dresses were worthy to watch. We had a wonderful time there!

Let's see some pictures:
People had been staying there a day before.

They were  enthusiastic:

Me at Meenar-e-America: 

And the shows began at sharp 9:00

Beautiful!

I loved this one specially:

An a video:

(The monument has to be there)

(Excuse my shaky hands)


People were fun though. All seemed attention seekers in different types of costumes. I wish I could snap all of them (you know you has to be decent). But some were bit disturbing:
I can never think of wearing my flag like this:

(btw the guy was very co0ol :P )

OK I admit I became mean to sit in this chair time and again :| :

(Got it from the last camping expedition) 

I dont know what's their definition of respecting their flag and I am not saying that I am the most patriot on earth but literally I can never imagine wearing my flag in feet. A girl was wearing these shoes on July 4. I could not approve it. It was too gross. 

Khair sano ki..........So Happy Independence day to America :)


The arrangements were literally fool proof. We had to go through the strict security checks. We stood for an hour to enter the park (check our enthusiasm). The cop dealing with me was very respectful to me (They are mostly bit rude). But he was very nice and remained calling me 'Madam'. Seemed he wasn't upset with my scarf and let me in without checking me. Means some people can still recognize my innocence :P ....hehe....We kept praying everything would go fine and it did Alhamdulillah. Again had to walk to the far away Metro station. There was a long queue but no pushing and pulling. Everyone was standing calmly and waiting for their turn to ride the Metro. It seemed they could stand the whole night. It's the beauty of America. I love it. And one thing is worthy to mention, whenever you see some people leaving their seats for others, they ought to be Asians.