Kahlil Gibran’s famous quotation strikes me a lot these days. I am experiencing it and amazed to know the depth of it.
Yesterday both of them went to passport office. They insisted me too to apply for passport at least but I couldn’t accompany them as I did not have my complete documents. It took them the whole day to complete the procedure. So I had to take lunch alone. It’s been almost four years of being together. There were hardly one or two times that both of them got absent and I had to take the lunch alone. But yesterday was really terrible with a thought that I would have to do every thing all alone now. They would inshaAllah return but I think we would not be able now to work together.
So there was complete dark out in the department. Most of the people are used to go outside during lunch break. I found myself alone on my table with lunch in front of me and tears in my eyes. It was dark so I wept a lot. I did not feel such loneliness before. I tell you loneliness works more killing than a mere poison. I felt it yesterday.
I forced myself to eat something thinking that I am a strong girl and I have to face it anyway. I took two or three bites hardly, not enough but at least I tried successfully.
It is really difficult to hide my tears from them but I am doing it successfully. But when I reach home, nothing can control them. Each day, I cry like a hell, like I would have just returned from airport. Don’t know from where these tears come. But such excessive crying worked yesterday night. My BP got very low. All at home became anxious. Mom started weeping with me. So I got a fellow in crying yesterday lol. She does not allow me to sleep in such situation. I think she thinks that I would never be able to wake up if I sleep. After handful tips when my bp became normal, I was allowed to sleep. It was a restless sleep I must say. I woke up many times, saw horrible dreams.
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