All find me a vent of their feelings. I am just sick of it now. But what can I do? I can do nothing. How can I stop any of my love ones from sharing their feelings with me? I know I can’t and I should not. It would prove me a bad person naa. But this social service is costing me a lot. It is not possible to listen some one and then forget what problem he/she is facing. Everyone thinks that I am the person who does not have any tension and problem in her life as I am leading an ideal life (God save me from evil eye) and that I am unfortunately trust worthy also (thanks to my lousy memory).
When you enter the practical life, your contact with your friends automatically becomes lesser. Even you cannot find quality time to spend with your family. But your friends and family do not forget you if they have any problem. Don’t argue that I also go to them if I have any problem. I do not share each bit of my life. Even in few years, I have become more confined to myself. So friends and family can forget you for many days but when they are trapped in any problem or have some depression, they call you up saying ‘Hey what’s up? Do you know what happened?’ without listening what you are actually upto.
And most of them just vent of their feelings and say goodbye making my tien tien fish. At first, I feel honour that they have contact me in this problem. In their whole speech (I call it so) I focus on solutions, which I should suggest them. And they just bang me by saying goodbye in then end. Means I am a mere hole listening Midas’ stories. I am telling you I may overflow someday.
I try to be a good listener, not because I am very good person. It is because I also need one. But I am unfortunate in these terms too. There are very few people who listen me, in fact two or hardly three. I have stopped sharing myself with them too, thinking that everyone has some problems and tensions in their lives, why should I increase them by sharing mine too. I should try to bear my own burden. See how much considerate I am, but no one cares of me. Yes I am a boxing cushion, come and hit me. Damn!
The hitch in listening others’ problems and strains is that it affects my personality badly. I don’t know why but I presume that if some thing bad happens to some one, it may also happen to me. I know it’s stupid of me, I am grown up girl but it sticks to my mind unintentionally. Harder I try, lesser I get rid of my baseless notions and fears. And what’s the result of all this? I lose my courage in taking risks. Success depends on taking risks. More you take risks, more you get close to your destination. I know it’s good to learn from others’ experiences, but I rather prefer to experience it. What is happening in the reality, I am going far away from where I should go.
Its ok. Come on now.. here take this
ReplyDelete*giving you banana and ice cream mixed together*
eat this. You'll cheer up. If not cheer up.. at least you'll be distracted at what I gave you to eat.
:)
:( and i have had the similar feeling!
ReplyDeletei need to kick something now!
WC AD
ReplyDeletewell frankly speaking, it is very difficult to overcome such situation when you want to slap some one but could not do so. Tell you one interesting thing, i have my own Slap List. Some one who gets the place in it, can never find any way out of it :) I do have some more lists like Tomato List, punching-in-eye, hair-pull list, etc.
Once in a training program, a presenter told that there are some agencies in some countries which are providing venting facilities for people's anger and frustration. They lock their clients in completely furnished room and allow them to break whatever they want. People speak out and also break out hehehe. They charge per hour. I dont know it is correct or not but I wish we do have such agencies :) what do you say?