Grieved

106....isn't a big number? IT'S INDEED. I am deeply deeply grived by yesterday's suicide attack. My God!! we have lost so many precious lives of our kids, men and women. Regrets, sorrows, mourns, what have I been left with?

Today morning when i was coming towards office, a traffic warden blocked the road suddenly with a barrier and forced everyone to go through other ways. I told him that my office was just at 5 minute's drive but he rudely responded "go on your foot". I had to march towards my office. I felt like some thing was going to happen. Roads were completely deserted. I cried the whole way. How much my country would have to face now? My country is bleeding. Is there any limit to all this?

I am used to console my by these lines:

Zulm phir zulm hai, badhta hai to mit jaata hai
Khoon phir khoon hai, tapkega to jam jaayega

Tyranny is but tyranny; when it grows, it is vanquished
Blood however is blood; if it spills, it will congeal

Tag: 25 Random Things

I always manage to skip tags but I am going to do this time just because of you PD !! :)

Rules:
Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you.

• -Sleeping is my favourite sport. It keeps me fresh and active like any other sport :D . I have a remarkable record of sleeping for 15 hrs consecutively.
• -I hate those who smile without any reason. hn khush mizaaj
• -I love to ring doorbells of others whenever i get any chance. Once I pushed the fire Alarm in my offiice :D . sshhh no one knows about it :P
• -On last weekend, I visited my beautician after one and a half year.
• -I disappointedly realized that I am also an idealistic when an ajeeb o ghareeb person proposed me.
• -I take sometime in saying 'thanks' and 'sorry' (yea em a bad girl)
• -I wonder listening some people saying that they do not like ice cream and mangoes :0 haw haiyeee!!
• -There was a time when I was famous in my family and friends because of my blushing cheeks and long-healthy hair. All have gone. The cheeks turned yellowish and hair are getting thin. But Alhamdulillah I had enjoyed them once and they still are more than fine :P
• -I want to try living alone once in my life. I have just realized that I enjoy more with myself than with anyone else
• -My handwriting and drawing are very poor. That is the reason I do terrible make-up.
• -I am impatiently waiting for my 30s.
• -I hardly remember the names of movies, celebrities and books and even the lyrics of songs.
• -Some people think that I am a present minded person due to my spotaneous talk. But in reality I sit at one place and my mind wonders somewhere else.
• -I am expert in making roti and all type of parathas.
• -Once I went for registration in a horse riding club. I ceased the idea after meeting the couch. B@#$&. I have to burry my wish of skydiving.
• -According to mom, I am a restless soul. I remain busy in doing some thing. And I find it impossible to sit in one place for three hours for watching a mere film. There might be two or three films which I have watched from the start to the end.
• -It's easy for me to cling to one thing and then leave it forever due to any  insipinsi reason. Same rule applies for the persons also :P .
• -Kids are the only charm in marriage for me.
• -There are few dresses which I designed by myself  but they are still lying untouched. yea they turned out to be very bad. By the way when is your b'day? :D
• -For the long long time, I had been the neglected child at home. The problems in my life started when I was dragged to limelight.
• -Since the disastrous Earthquake, I feel all time like every thing around me is going to be jolted to death.
• -I think ten times before spending money. I am not crazy for more and more cloths, jewellery, shoes, bags, blah blah.
• -For many years of my life, i waited for people to wish on my b'day but it caused 'invited pain'. Now I call people and tell them 'hey it's my birthday'. It literally feels good :)
• -Once I had a great love for tennis and basketball. I used to dream of becoming great player. I left tennis when my wrist cricked and basketball when I fainted in the court due to the hit of ball on my head. All dreams chikna choor....
• -I feel butterflies when I see Patrick Dempsey as Dr. McDreamy :P hehe

I tag Postman, a fan and  Leena. (so what if Leena has already done it :| )

Show me your tests first!!

So in all this wilderness, we still have some signs of life.

"The Sindh Assembly Wednesday unanimously adopted a bill whereby the government of Sindh was recommended to make AIDS and hepatitis tests mandatory for every one before marriage".

Dr. Yasmeen Rashid and all those who have struggled for it and are still striving hard to create awareness in masses, deserve appreciation. I know no one would first bother to have tests before marriage but still it's a first drop. At least people would start thinking about it and then hesitate to get married without tests.

We dont have facilities of these tests even in general hospitals. But i remember we did not have labs for hapatitis tests when it first started spreading widely. Now almost all labs offer hap test facility. A comprehensive national plan is needed further to overcome this problem too.

I hope National Assembly would also approved it and make it a legislation. Not only terrorism, we need to fight against all odds which bring life at stake.

And sometimes there's no solid reason...

:D :D

I can be a danger for my boss :P

Tell you some thing....

shsshhhhhh......

first promise me you wont share it with anyone...

no no it's a secret. you ve to gimme a promise first...an honest one.......

i haven't told it anyone. promise?

okhayie. but plz keep in mind that my boss' life is on stake. This secret should never be disclosed. He may die of heart attack if  he ever know what i have done with him. If this secret discloses, you ll be the murderer of my boss. Understand?

promise naa? okay okay fine. dont be annoyed....

Actually I needed a very detailed recommendation from my Boss immediately. I told him and briefed him what aspects the letter should cover. As usual, he showed me a boring art film with his free ki smile that his recommended students always get selected and blah blah blah. I seriously didn't hear with attention what speech he made. I offered him my services for drafting the letter but he refused it at once (egoist). khair he assured me that he ll provide me the letter yesterday. That yesterday couldn't come. He kept on excusing this and that. Once he told that he had prepared it but forgot at home. He asked me to txt him at night for reminding him as the letter was in his laptop at home. I did. And I was quite sure that he would definitely bring it next day.

Next day, i went to his office and asked for the letter. Again free ki looong smile (I think his whole batisi comes out when he smiles) and said 'oh dont worry I write it now. It would take few minutes'. means he was lying the whole week. damn......I hated him that time but i didn't say any thing. He started writing the letter and I starting reading the newspaper. Against my own laid rules, I had to sit there for all that time because i knew he would start doing any thing else if i ll leave. People were coming in and out giving me strange looks. I didn't bother. I needed the letter badly. I kept on telling him what things they have demanded to be mentioned in the letter. And he also told me that he was leaving for ISB today for few days. Khair he wrote the letter, signed it and handed me over. I left his office graciously.

When I read that letter later, oh God ...........bossy should be thankful to Allah that he was not there werna pata nai mai kiya kar leti. It was such a dumb recommendation letter and I wondered how his students and employees got the admission.

My way to home, i kept on thinking the ways to handle the situation now because i didn'te have a single day to delay it.And I got the string.

Next day, I wrote a letter by myself, the excellent one, scanned the signature of boss, pasted it on the letter and took the printout on letterhead.  Then scanned the letter and sent it to the concerned people. Simple! :) :D :P

It remained simple until i remembered that they had contacted my teacher once whose letter of recommendation was also in my file. They'll definitely contact him. It would not be a problem because I know boss ll handle em well akhir he is earning for his boring talks. But the problem may arise if they email him with the attachment of the my prepared letter. But not to worry. I ll take his signature on this letter also. he wont have any objection.

But I was thinking what the reaction of my Bos if he ever knows what i have done. haha ......ohoo that's not big deal. The letter is about ME. I didn't misuse his signature. For the first time his sign has been used for a good purpose and of course:

Just in

We were busy in after meeting discussion few minutes ago when ammi called me. She was crying bitterly and asking me to return home. Few gunmen opened fired on FIA building which is near my office. There was a suicide attack on the same building in May this year as well. Two attacks by the terrorists are also reported in police stations today. God it has started again. Few months were passed in peace but they are strengheting again. An operation in Waziristan has been accounced by the Army. I wonder if we get rid of these suicide bombers this time. Or is this the right way to save our country from terrorists? We have ourselves created many of them somewhere. Dont know how much lives of our soldiers and common people will be needed this time. They are getting hostile. See the intensity of their bomb blasts. Casualities in such attacks are more what they were before the Swat operation.

Khair we are now getting used to all this or we dont have any other option except accepting this harsh reality and move on. They think they would paralyse the life with such coward actions but they couldn't indeed. See! I am sitting in my office doing the routine work and listening the sirens of ambulances from outside. I can enjoy my breaths at this time, dont know i may have been included in casualities next time. Allah reham rakay bas

What's the logic?

Whenever I expect less, I get more and whenever I expect more, I get lesser.

I have issues :|

I am suck of my telephone extension at office. The stupid calls drive me nuts. And check the information which is asked usually:

Me: hello

Tel: Hi this is …... How are you? (speaks so cheerfully as I was waiting him for ages)

Me: Fine. Yes?

Tel: What is the extension of Mr/Ms XYZ.

Me: I don’t know. Ask the exchange.

Tring tring….

Me: Yes?

Tel: Hi……how are you doing?

Me: good. Yes?

Tel: I need to talk to Mr. XYZ.

Me: This is MY number not his.

Tel: Then connect my line to his

Me: I don’t know how to connect (I know it but I wont do it for you b@$%&). Ask the telephone operators.

Tring tring:

Me: hello

Tel: oh I think I have dialed a wrong number.

Me: yes you did.

Tel: how are you?

Me: *(you know you are the cheapest person on earth?)*

Tring tring:

Me: hello

Tel: isn’t it Mr. XYZ?

Me: Do I sound like him?

Tring tring:

Tel: What is the extension number of XYZ?

Me: I don’t know

Tel: how is it possible? He sits next to you?

Me: (I wish I can kick you from the top floor) why don’t you ask the exchange? They are here for this purpose.

Tel: but you should know the telephone extensions of at least your department.

Me: Yes I should learn by heart the 35 extensions of everyone. That’s my fault. I ll be careful next time.

Tring tring

Tel: Kindly tell me Mr…… is on the floor. Or Mr……..is on his seat? (hadd ho gai)

This is the one of ways people use to tease female colleagues. And they think that we are such dumb and dont understand what’s the meaning of all this. One day I got more then ten such calls. On eleventh call, you can understand how much I might have been irritated:

Me: Hello (the most irritant sound I could utter)

Tel: Oh….who are you?

Me: Whom do you want to talk to?

Tel: I need to talk to XYZ but who are you?

Me: Sorry. this is not his number.

Tel: then?

Me: ohoo press the Zero and ask them about his number. I am not supposed to learn all extension numbers here.

Tel: What is your name?

Me: (I see you are one of the eve teasers) Listen Mr. I am extremely busy and I have told you that I don’t know your required extension number. So please contact the tel operator and save yours and mine time. Thank you. (takkkkhh fone band)

At that time, I just wished to bang the telephone.

The telephone rang again after few minutes:

He: So you are ………….. (he took my name this time)

Me: So? (flatly)

He: beta I am Vice President.

Me: geeeee….. (duh duh …electric shock)

He: What happened to you beta? I thought you are the most well-mannered girl in the whole org. I wasn’t expecting it from you.

Me: Sir……..actually…….wo tu………mai tu…….nai nai……asal mai……and so on

I got so confused at that time but I tried to explain him what the actual situation was. He listened me carefully and advised me to be cautious next time. Ahhh………I had no idea that the VP had such noble thoughts about me. But what could happen now? I have ruined it all with my own hands, I mean voice….damn me!!!

P.S. Mr. XYZ who is responsible for all this should be fired at once.

My new Project and my concerns over it

Last year, I was assigned a project which was completed successfully within its time frame. We usally intiate projects and hand them over to the stakeholders. Same happened in this case. Now the project came back to me for the further work. The project is quite huge in nature and it is expected to be legalized by the Govt in few weeks.

It's not that I am incapable of handling it (dont forget that I just got promoted due to my remarkable services :) and if someone still thinks so, he/she' ll be out from the treat), actually my concern is over the financial matters of the Project. Once it legalizes, it would start generating revenues. I usually do projects which some times involves in revenues of of few lacs but they lie within the boundary of my Org where I know everyone (accounts or all that) and I know how to keep an eye on the malpractices and how to handle them. But the current project will be kind of autonomous. It would have its own small accounts section.

At that time, I am being forced to be its Projec Manager. I have done its spadework, so no one is ready to take it (me either). Actually some of its members are completely unknown for me and it would be difficult to handle them because all are executives from reknowned companies. They would surely influence all the matters of the project. I want to take this project but the expected revenues of millions of $ may attract everyone to attack upon. Many SOPs are quite vague and members want them as it is and you can better understand why. I have tried to do my job so far with  complete probity keeping record of each penny Alhamdulillah. I can route things correctly to my extent but what about the other matters which lie under me but will be influenced by others.

My director says authority brings responsibility and I should accept it wholehearted. I am really confused. I want to stay away from such high revenue generating projects which are an easy prey of corruption. As i have not much experience in handling high revenue related projects, I have a feeling that people will do things under my nose and I ll not be able to even understand them. I can understand the accounts matters but the malpractices linked to these are wide and cannot be caught by an innocent person like me :( . I feel that they are forcing me to take the complete responsibility of this project because they know that I am mot much experienced in such matters.

Oh God! i am really confused. I could not even make any sense of what I have written. crap better to shut up!!

Guys do advise me if you understand what my situation is :(

The unexpected happiness

I was seriously not expecting it all but Allah has been vey kind to me, I must say. Thank you Allah Ta'ala gee, thank you very much. I know You read my blog regularly.

Yesterday morning when I just reached my cabin, director called me up and congratulated me for getting promoted to 'Deputy Director'. I was told that I was the most derserving candidate and my case was very strong. I also got one increment.

I dont understand how to react. A strange kind of indifferent feeling is taking me over. I think I am still in shock. I am trying to make myself realize that it has happened finally. When I joined this organization, I thought, only thought sometime that I should leave this job after at least becoming Deput Director. May be the time for leaving this job has arrived. Should I start preparing the farewell speech? :)

And one interesting thing, one of my auntie (mom's cousin) called me from London just to congratulate me. Another shock. She didn't call me on becoming Assistant Director. She showed her full time affection and that the little me with shining eyes was standing in front of her eyes. I am indebted to her unexpected love. Her son also talked to me and asked my permission to add me on Facebook.....hahah such a sweet boy :D. He was feeling very shy while talking to me and auntie was yelling from the back "beta tumhari khala hai" kamal hai she forgot after reaching London that my mother is her cousin, not me.

Apology

First of all, I am really very sorry for this complete change but it was all accidental. I was updating my pathetic blog yesterday when all data was crashed, even some info in profile.

The reason of updating the blog was mainly the monotony which was prevailing around and :

So decided to update things. But I dont know what had happened during the updating process as most of the data was completely collapsed. I tried alot to retrived my lables, gadgets, links and all other data but all in vain. I spent half of my night on it :( .

Last night, I even thought of deleting this blog in disappointment but I am not a quitter :) . So as an enthusiastic fighter, I jumped into the battle field again (Gladiator, my fav). Then I searched out this template and uploaded it with a lil bit change (sorry to the designer. but you know whoever you are i love you for creating such a cool and soothing template).

And to the guys whose blogs are put on this blog, I ve to google your blogs literally because some of the comments were also crashed :( . See my sincere affection and love for all of you :)

So finally the new template with the new user name (which was also accidental). I hope this template would not betray me and would stay with me for some time (change is permanent) and I am going to be a regular blogger from now.


So happy blogging :)