Now-a-days, I start my each day saying to myself; "I will live and enjoy Today as the only day of my life. I will not be anxious about tomorrow. I will not even think of it Today. The woes and worries are expected to come tomorrow, so I will handle them when they really come. No worry for Today".
I make this promise to myself each morning. But when the day passes slowly and gradually, I start losing control on myself. I try hard, really hard not to think much. I lose my focus, I lose my attention, I lose my concentration, I lose every thing. And finally I accpet defeat in the hands of my wandering thoughts. Eah day, I go to the bed with bruised thoughts and emotions which result in nightmares.God! I have the dreadiest nightmares these days.
Hence, the most difficult war is the war which you fight with yourself. And this fight becomes more difficult when you know that you will be the loser whether you win or lose it. I am really tired of hiding my feelings and keeping the crappy smile on my face showing 'I am fine'.
P.S. I wasn't absent from my blog....errr....but yea I was absent mentally.
:)
ReplyDeleteI saw your post and felt similar to what i had in mind to write about. (similar, but not same)
Yes, it's tiring to lead a double life :)
I hear u big time sophi =(
ReplyDeletetrue a fan.....but somehow we always succeed to lead a dual life. :|
ReplyDeleteO thank you very much razmer :)
Even though I understand the meaning of {living in the moment and lamha-e-mojood thing) but I disagree with it to certain extent, or to say it correctly I disagree with the way it is generally perceived.
ReplyDeleteI believe we are humans [and I intend to be no more than that].
Humans fear the moments that have to come and cry for the past they have spent. However you much you try it would happen.
The thing is to grasp the importance of the moments we are living then running away from our fears. Face them and leave them.
Anybody who is practical enough not to whine and moan all the time for the gone and and the one that has to come, knows the importance of the moment he is living in....!
and oops sorry for that longgggggggggg a comment.., didn't mean it to be!
ReplyDeleteyou are right yamna but it is really difficult not to think about the future and live the moment in hand well. It's really unfortunate that we moan on the present and when the worst comes (God forbidden) we regret why we could not realize the blessings of the moments we have passed. Human psychic
ReplyDeleteI wish we could learn the art of living the present moment and to thank God for it
don't think about living the moment so much that you actually stop living it
ReplyDelete:p
oh yeah that's another point
ReplyDelete